Are you feeling like you’re trudging through your days, stuck in a midlife funk?
My friend, you are not alone! Not by a long shot.
Many of us hit a point where life feels a bit more monotonous, a tad less colorful, and a whole lot of WTF-ness.
In fact, research shows that we hit our peak happiness slump around 47.5 before rebounding to become happier in our life again.
But here’s the good news – this isn’t the end; it’s actually a thrilling beginning if you let it be.
You can let it be the speed bump it is and drive over it slooooooowwwwwwllllly while you white-knuckle grip the wheel OR you can hang on for dear life as you gleefully yell, “Whhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee!”
If you’re here reading this, you fall into the “Whhhhheeeeeeee” camp so let’s dive into how you can break free and rediscover the vibrant, passionate you that you know is still inside.
First things first, let’s call it what it is – a funk.
There’s power in naming it so don’t gaslight yourself into believing it’s anything better than what it is.
And a slump can feel awful.
Whether you’re feeling unfulfilled, restless, or just plain bored, acknowledging these feelings is the first step to overcoming them.
It’s okay not to be okay!
You will get to the other side but if you want to get there faster, hire a midlife coach (hi 👋🏼, I’m a midlife coach) to help you with tools, resources, and guidance customized just for you.
What do you want in life? How do you want to feel as you’re living your life? What sets your soul on fire and excites the hell out of you?
✨ What’s a hobby you let go by the wayside as you were raising the kiddos?
✨ What’s a place you’ve always wanted to visit?
✨ An experience you’ve always wanted to have?
✨ Something you’ve always wanted to learn?
Make a list and for the love of all that’s holy, don’t judge whatever comes up no matter how big, small, wild, or seemingly unattainable things may seem.
Dream big. Now’s your time. Don’t forget that.
Your 80-yo future self has SO MUCH she wants you to know about how you can be living life NOW so that she’s able to feel happy, fulfilled, and very much still enjoying life.
👵🏼 What does she look like? Is she frumpy dumpy or rocking the pink hair and bright colors like mine is?
👵🏼 Is she laughing, traveling, creating? Or is she sitting in her La-Z-Boy watching the days pass her by?
👵🏼 Who is she spending her days with and what is she doing to stay engaged in life? Or is she lonely and kind of resentful that her children don’t visit as often as she’d like?
What can you do NOW to live life in a way that makes her proud?
Let your vision of her guide your choices and actions in the here and now.
Use your future to fall in love with your present.
Overwhelm is real but remember, even the grandest journey starts with a single step.
That feels a little platitude-y but you know exactly what I mean.
Your kiddo didn’t start walking or talking from day one. They needed time to be in the messy goo of infanthood before their bones were strong enough to walk and their mouth muscles capable of forming words.
Choose one small thing from your list and start there.
It could be as simple as reading a book from a genre you love or trying a new recipe or planning a trip to Red Rocks to see that band you’ve been dying to see for years.
Progress, not perfection.
Also? Don’t overthink your small steps. If something feels overwhelming, ask yourself, “What the smallest step that would make this feel easy and good?” and then do that.
Build your self-trust by showing up for yourself in big and small ways over and over again until you’re the woman no longer in a funk but back to thriving.
Staying stuck is often the easier path because it’s what we know…it feels safe and our nervous system and brains LOVE feeling safe.
It’s literally their favorite feeling and they will do anything and everything within their power to keep you “safe”.
Which isn’t helpful when you’re in the midst of a midlife funk desiring anything but the feeling of stuck!
So what can you do?
You can challenge yourself to get outside your comfort zone and explore something you’ve never had the lady balls to do before.
We’ve covered this up above. Make a list of all the things you’ve always dreamed of doing but never thought you could and then pick ONE and challenge yourself to do ONE SMALL THING™ that moves you closer to having that “thing”.
You do hard, uncomfortable, awkward things all the time. You’ve got this.
Challenging yourself and taking action builds confidence in yourself and positive self-esteem.
You’re only in this funk alone IF you don’t reach out for support whether it’s your BFF, circle of girlfriends, family, or finding a community of like-minded souls.
Support is absolutely crucial.
Surround yourself with people (online and IRL) that get you and want nothing but the best for you and then lean on each other to help each other grow and learn.
Feeling isolated is literally the opposite of what you need to lift you out of your funk so stop it already.
You matter just as much as anyone else and your relationship with yourself is the most important one so may as well make it a good one!
Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and water. Move your body. Nourish your insides. Indulge with intention.
It’s the opposite of selfish to put yourself first sometimes and get your needs met including taking care of yourself.
Taking care of yourself is what helps you show up in all the important roles in your life as your Favorite Self – mom, partner, daughter, friend, leader, volunteer, etc.
My 80-yo self was begging for me to add some bright pink and other colors to my otherwise grey, white, and black wardrobe so that’s what I did.
💗 Fuschia Doc Martens
💗 Magenta in my hair
💗 Bright yellow sweaters
💗 Nose ring
Let me tell ya…it’s hard to be in a funk when you’re doing something that feels bold to you!!!!
Your bold is going to look different than my bold but my point is, make a list of things that feel bold to you and then pick a couple to play and experiment with.
You don’t know unless you try!
Getting out of a midlife funk is about rediscovering and embracing the true essence of who you are.
It’s about taking intentional action towards a life that excites the hell out of you and radically fulfills you.
Only you have the power and control to reignite your spark.
Start today. Take one small action. Don’t overthink or overcomplicate…just do.
Step by step, bit by bit, day by day, you move yourself out of your midlife funk and into living a life you love the hell out of.
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I'm a magical mix of coach, perspective-shifting mentor, hair-holder, consultant, wing woman, get shit done'r, silver lining finder, & slightly annoying cheerleader
I used to roll my eyes at the notion of self love and loving my life because it felt so far outside the realm of possibilities. I thought both were saved for those who'd escaped childhood unscathed.
But a perfect storm in 2015 had me wake TF up and heal my childhood ish. Along the way, I started to not only love but LIKE myself and I stopped wanting to escape from my life and instead, intentionally create my exciting future. That's saying a lot when you read my stories!
And now? I get to help women all around the world fall in love with themselves, their lives, and create the future THEY want. How cool is that?!?