Naming the things you love about yourself daily is a powerful practice that can boost your self-esteem and overall well-being.
It’s a reminder to appreciate the unique qualities that make you who you are.
And you? You deserve to celebrate your Favorite Self no matter what.
But if I were to ask you to name 5 things to love about yourself every day…
What would you do?
✨ Would you cringe like most people?
✨ Would your brain immediately jump to the things you don’t love about yourself?
✨ OR would you smile, rattle off your list, and keep going well beyond 5?
Your answer isn’t good, bad, right, or wrong. It’s ok to just notice it for now as you read on…
And if it helps, the question can be things I like about myself every day. You can build up to love!
According to Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, self-love is…
“…a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”
Or to put it more succinctly from Psych Central…
“Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.”
I like to think of self-love as having an unshakeable, loving relationship with yourself.
One where you:
✨ have your own back
✨ recognize your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s and then get those needs met
✨ grok your inherent worthiness (meaning you don’t have to do anything to somehow earn that worthiness) deep in your bones, and
✨ accept failures, setbacks, imperfections, and all the messiness that comes with being human
✨ treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and grace you would any other loved one
It’s less about navel-gazing or looking in the mirror and more about doubling down with grit and scrappiness when life decides to life.
🥰 how you talk to yourself
😍 trusting yourself no matter what
💗 maintaining healthy boundaries
🤩 putting your needs towards the top of your to-do list
💞 being your own BFF
Self-love is a choice you make again and again.
It’s also the opposite of selfish even though we’re told differently.
Loving yourself means you’re able to show up in all the ways you want to show up for others…how you parent, in your relationships, how you lead, etc.
That all sounds wonderful but…
Simply put, we’re not taught how to love ourselves or that it’s even safe to love ourselves.
In fact, we’re told over and over that it’s selfish to focus on yourself.
That you’re somehow arrogant if you have high self-esteem.
Striving and ambition and being busy, busy, busy is celebrated while our emotional wellness takes a back seat until one day, we wonder who the hell we even are anymore.
Being a Gen-X woman (like myself) on top of it? The generation raised being expected to do and “have it all”?
Yeah…we’re pretty screwed when it comes to the self-love game, lol.
BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t shift the paradigm within ourselves and give a rebellious middle finger to anything and everything that tells us it’s somehow wrong for loving ourselves too.
Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your list BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t get started and add on to it whenever you think of a new one and trust me…
…when you get in the habit of being the person who loves her damn self?
Your list can’t help but grow!
I always say, start where you are. Maybe today you can think of 5.
Let that be more than plenty and good enough.
There is no prize for how quickly you grow your list.
So take a deep breath, grab your emotional support water bottle and a pen and paper (or google doc like me), set a timer for 10-15 minutes, and just…begin.
Silly, small, deep, mundane, earth-shattering…they all matter and amount to YOU being the woman who loves herself.
I literally hated myself for decades and you’d never have guessed.
I seemingly “had it all” – solid marriage, a good career with a hefty paycheck, nice home, fun vacations, well-rounded kiddos, and I smiled and laughed easily.
Loving myself felt so outside the realm of possibilities that I didn’t even think about it until I had my rock bottom moment in 2015 when almost everything was stripped away from me – including my ego – and I was left raw, vulnerable, and questioning everything.
For whatever reason, I decided to approach “fixing” myself differently than I’d ever tried before.
Loathing only made me miserable so I wondered, what would love choose?
Even though I didn’t love myself yet.
Even though I didn’t see a path to loving myself.
I had the love of my husband and children and if they could love me, I hypothesized that maybe, eventually, I could love myself too.
Loving myself didn’t happen overnight but it DID happen and that’s what matters.
I started small but I kept at it and my list grew over time and is still growing.
Feel free to use any of mine as an inspiration point to help start your own!
In no specific order, here are mine:
There’s no one right way to practice self-love but here are some ideas for you:
🤗 Create your list – no matter how big or small – and start your day by looking at your list of things to love about yourself every day and ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?”
🤗 better yet….read them out loud (you can also record yourself into your phone and then play that each day)
🤗 create a Pinterest board for inspiration and look at it often
🤗 write a few on your bathroom mirror or sticky notes around your workspace
🤗 get in the habit of just being the person who loves her damn self no matter if you feel it that day or not
And if you’re ready for that rebellious, paradigm-shifting middle finger and would love support to help you create an unshakeable, rock-solid relationship with yourself full of things to love about yourself every day, explore my self-love coaching!
You, as much as anyone else, deserve your love.
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I'm a magical mix of coach, perspective-shifting mentor, hair-holder, consultant, wing woman, get shit done'r, silver lining finder, & slightly annoying cheerleader
I used to roll my eyes at the notion of self love and loving my life because it felt so far outside the realm of possibilities. I thought both were saved for those who'd escaped childhood unscathed.
But a perfect storm in 2015 had me wake TF up and heal my childhood ish. Along the way, I started to not only love but LIKE myself and I stopped wanting to escape from my life and instead, intentionally create my exciting future. That's saying a lot when you read my stories!
And now? I get to help women all around the world fall in love with themselves, their lives, and create the future THEY want. How cool is that?!?