Coaching & Consulting
for gutsy, determined women tired AF by the status quo & ready to give themselves unapologetic permission to do whatever TF it takes to make their Bold AF Goals INEVITABLE so they can go from a 'good' life to A Fuck Yeah Life

⚠️ Warning: I brainwash brilliant women into deeply loving & believing in themselves and their ability to do anything they set their minds to SO MUCH that taking bold & courageous action becomes a no-brainer. Combine that with my 30+ years as a strategic project manager and you can't help but make your Bold AF Goals a reality so buckle up! ⚠️

I'm Jen Vertanen

Hey hey!

FREE Guide

Naming the things you love about yourself daily is a powerful practice that can boost your self-esteem and overall well-being.

It’s a reminder to appreciate the unique qualities that make you who you are.

And you? You deserve to celebrate your Favorite Self no matter what.

But if I were to ask you to name 5 things to love about yourself every day…

What would you do?

✨ Would you cringe like most people?

✨ Would your brain immediately jump to the things you don’t love about yourself?

✨ OR would you smile, rattle off your list, and keep going well beyond 5?

Your answer isn’t good, bad, right, or wrong. It’s ok to just notice it for now as you read on…

And if it helps, the question can be things I like about myself every day. You can build up to love!

Love yourself written into concrete

What even is self-love?

According to Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, self-love is…

“…a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”

Or to put it more succinctly from Psych Central

“Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.”

I like to think of self-love as having an unshakeable, loving relationship with yourself.

One where you:

✨ have your own back

✨ recognize your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s and then get those needs met

✨ grok your inherent worthiness (meaning you don’t have to do anything to somehow earn that worthiness) deep in your bones, and

✨ accept failures, setbacks, imperfections, and all the messiness that comes with being human

✨ treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and grace you would any other loved one

It’s less about navel-gazing or looking in the mirror and more about doubling down with grit and scrappiness when life decides to life.


🥰 how you talk to yourself

💖 staying true to your desires and values

😍 trusting yourself no matter what

💗 maintaining healthy boundaries

🤩 putting your needs towards the top of your to-do list

💞 being your own BFF

Self-love is a choice you make again and again.

It’s also the opposite of selfish even though we’re told differently.

Loving yourself means you’re able to show up in all the ways you want to show up for others…how you parent, in your relationships, how you lead, etc.

That all sounds wonderful but…

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?

Simply put, we’re not taught how to love ourselves or that it’s even safe to love ourselves.

In fact, we’re told over and over that it’s selfish to focus on yourself.

That you’re somehow arrogant if you have high self-esteem.

Striving and ambition and being busy, busy, busy is celebrated while our emotional wellness takes a back seat until one day, we wonder who the hell we even are anymore.

Being a Gen-X woman (like myself) on top of it? The generation raised being expected to do and “have it all”?

Yeah…we’re pretty screwed when it comes to the self-love game, lol.

BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t shift the paradigm within ourselves and give a rebellious middle finger to anything and everything that tells us it’s somehow wrong for loving ourselves too.

You are worthy of your own love too

Create your “Things I Love About Myself” list

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your list BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t get started and add on to it whenever you think of a new one and trust me…

…when you get in the habit of being the person who loves her damn self?

Your list can’t help but grow!

I always say, start where you are. Maybe today you can think of 5.

Let that be more than plenty and good enough.

There is no prize for how quickly you grow your list.

So take a deep breath, grab your emotional support water bottle and a pen and paper (or google doc like me), set a timer for 10-15 minutes, and just…begin.

Silly, small, deep, mundane, earth-shattering…they all matter and amount to YOU being the woman who loves herself.

My self-love journey and things I love about myself

I literally hated myself for decades and you’d never have guessed.

I seemingly “had it all” – solid marriage, a good career with a hefty paycheck, nice home, fun vacations, well-rounded kiddos, and I smiled and laughed easily.

Loving myself felt so outside the realm of possibilities that I didn’t even think about it until I had my rock bottom moment in 2015 when almost everything was stripped away from me – including my ego – and I was left raw, vulnerable, and questioning everything.

For whatever reason, I decided to approach “fixing” myself differently than I’d ever tried before.

Loathing only made me miserable so I wondered, what would love choose?

Even though I didn’t love myself yet.

Even though I didn’t see a path to loving myself.

I had the love of my husband and children and if they could love me, I hypothesized that maybe, eventually, I could love myself too.

Loving myself didn’t happen overnight but it DID happen and that’s what matters.

Self-love is a journey, not a destination

I started small but I kept at it and my list grew over time and is still growing.

Feel free to use any of mine as an inspiration point to help start your own!

In no specific order, here are mine:

  1. I am so full of gumption, grit, and determination. I go after what I want no matter how long it takes to get it
  2. I am adventurous
  3. I love my nose…it’s adorable
  4. My feet are adorable too
  5. I am generous
  6. I have a wicked and naughty sense of humor
  7. I am so so good at helping others plan their work and get shit done. Stupidly good
  8. I know how to relax with the best of them
  9. I love my neurospicy brain. Sure…it sometimes frustrates me but it’s one of my greatest gifts
  10. I know that I have a positive impact on those around me
  11. I am an amazing listener
  12. I love my lips. I used to hate them but they’re pretty gorgeous
  13. I’ve had so many cool experiences
  14. I’m a voracious reader and especially love psychological thrillers and super spicy smut
  15. I’m fun to be around
  16. I create wonderful experiences for my loved ones
  17. I’m committed to my relationship with myself
  18. I love to dance
  19. I’m continually delighted by small and simple pleasures
  20. I’ve done the work to love myself and my life and it shows
  21. I believe almost anything is possible for me
  22. I love my family deeply
  23. I’m good at keeping healthy boundaries
  24. I love my vision for my life
  25. I work very hard not to get overwhelmed but instead, keep a cool head and take my next best step
  26. I am deeply content
  27. I absolutely love what I do for work
  28. I’m a wonderful mentor
  29. I love making people laugh
  30. I own when I’ve been the asshole and apologize accordingly
  31. I’m great at solving problems and seeing the bigger picture
  32. I have a HUGE heart
  33. I’m super non-judgmental
  34. I love sharing my stories to help others heal
  35. I go through tough times while maintaining a loving relationship with myself
  36. I know how to manage my mind and the inner critic
  37. I have a zest and passion for life
  38. I thrive on new experiences
  39. I appreciate the little things
  40. I love my grey eyes
  41. Speaking of grey…I LOVE my zebra glitter hair (grey, silver, white, dark brown)
  42. I adore my quirks
  43. I’m so good at getting my needs met
  44. I love getting older…I’m not afraid to age because I know I have so much GOOD in front of me yet
  45. I’m a late-bloomer. I’m 53 and just getting started
  46. I give super helpful advice and don’t make it mean anything about me if the person doesn’t take it
  47. I love being silly and goofing around
  48. I’m all-in on making my dreams come true no matter how long they take
  49. I healed most of my childhood ish
  50. I’m committed to showing up as my favorite self
  51. I love learning new things
  52. I’m very curious and always questioning why so I can understand better
  53. I’m unapologetically me (except when I’ve been the asshole…then I apologize and work to do better)
  54. I am committed to my own growth and development
  55. I am resilient
  56. I’m wildly independent (and stubborn lol)
  57. I LOVE that I’m not afraid to take risks or face my fears
  58. I don’t mind spending time with myself. In fact, it’s a necessity
  59. I’m a kid at heart…I don’t ever want to grow up
  60. I’m fairly easygoing and love going with the flow
  61. I make decisions like a BOSS
  62. I wear my heart on my sleeve
  63. I’m a warrior survivor and generational trauma cycle-breaker
  64. I love to sing, often badly
  65. I can hyper-focus and get shit done
  66. I love my awkwardness…it’s charming and mostly adorable
  67. I have super cool, imaginative dreams
  68. My big, infectious laugh
  69. My sneezes can either be adorable OR make you leak a little
  70. My reaction is absolutely hilarious when someone tries to scare me
  71. I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses
  72. I take my mental health and emotional wellbeing a top priority
  73. My big, beautiful smile…I light up a room
  74. The ability to laugh at myself and life’s sometimes fuckedupedness
  75. I value experiences over things
  76. That ‘fuck’ is one of my very favorite words and I use it creatively
  77. My entrepreneurial spirit
  78. All the small things I’m deeply grateful for in my life
  79. I show up
  80. I do this goofy dance thing that delights my husband to no end and that delights me
  81. I’m not afraid to face my fears and challenge myself to heal and grow
  82. I fight for what’s important to me
  83. I can hack my way through website design and copy like no one’s business
  84. I’m a decent cook and have a few stand-out dishes
  85. I’m an adrenaline junkie!!!!!
  86. I even love when I’m a bit of a prickly pear. All it means is I need some time to myself and there’s nothing wrong with that
  87. I try even when it’s not something I’m super comfortable with
  88. I love all my imperfections
  89. I’m not afraid to “do the work” to heal my ish
  90. I think farts are super funny and I’m a champion farter
  91. I’m not afraid to voice my opinion
  92. I have an absolutely awful sense of direction and fully own that
  93. My wrinkles. I’ve more than earned them
  94. My ability to pick up new tech right away
  95. My intuition game is STRONG
  96. My many many dichotomies and things that don’t seemingly go together but make me wholly me
  97. That I no longer feel broken because I did the work to heal
  98. My ability to see the brilliance in someone else and help hold a mirror so they can see their own brilliance
  99. My ability to hold the safest of spaces
  100. Being confident in the value I bring
  101. I love that I love bigfoot erotica

What’s next?

There’s no one right way to practice self-love but here are some ideas for you:

🤗 Create your list – no matter how big or small – and start your day by looking at your list of things to love about yourself every day and ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?”

🤗 better yet….read them out loud (you can also record yourself into your phone and then play that each day)

🤗 create a Pinterest board for inspiration and look at it often

🤗 write a few on your bathroom mirror or sticky notes around your workspace

🤗 get in the habit of just being the person who loves her damn self no matter if you feel it that day or not

And if you’re ready for that rebellious, paradigm-shifting middle finger and would love support to help you create an unshakeable, rock-solid relationship with yourself full of things to love about yourself every day, explore my self-love coaching!

You, as much as anyone else, deserve your love.

101 Things to Love & Appreciate About Yourself Daily

jen v. xo

Hey there! I'm Jen

I'm a magical mix of coach, mentor, consultant, wing woman, & slightly annoying cheerleader with 30+ years experience as a strategic project manager  who can help YOU make your Bold AF Goals INEVITABLE

When I say I've got you...I'VE LEGIT GOT YOU.

Epic shit happens when we work together whether it's delivering multi-million dollar projects, writing your first or next novel, reinventing yourself after divorce, creating the next must have app, getting the promotion, going back to school, starting the non-profit, or whatever epic shit YOU want to do.

What you learn extends well beyond the bounds of us working together. You will know how to make your Bold AF Goals a reality for the rest of your life.

I know exactly when to...

give you a swift kick in the ass and/or nudge you forward (you always decide how hard)

give you a helping hand to get to the other side without much gnashing of teeth and pulling your hair out

walk beside you - reminding you of the absolute badass you are and that you've absolutely got this

give you encouraging words in a non-blowing smoke up your ass way and funny memes...always funny memes (you decide how inappropriate because trust my friends, I can go there)

help you learn how to celebrate the hell out of yourself (none of that self-deprecating shit no matter how funny it is) with every action - tiny or GINORMOUS - don't matter

what'cha waiting for?

Let's fucking go

Sign up for this FREE guide to get hella clear on your next Bold AF Goal(s) and the first 3 actions you can start taking today

© 2024 Jen Vertanen & A Fuck Yeah Life