Naming the things you love about yourself daily is a powerful practice that can boost your self-esteem and overall well-being.

It’s a reminder to appreciate the unique qualities that make you who you are.

And you? You deserve to celebrate your Favorite Self no matter what.

But if I were to ask you to name 5 things to love about yourself every day…

What would you do?

✨ Would you cringe like most people?

✨ Would your brain immediately jump to the things you don’t love about yourself?

✨ OR would you smile, rattle off your list, and keep going well beyond 5?

Your answer isn’t good, bad, right, or wrong. It’s ok to just notice it for now as you read on…

And if it helps, the question can be things I like about myself every day. You can build up to love!

What even is self-love?

According to Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, self-love is…

“…a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.”

Or to put it more succinctly from Psych Central…

“Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and wellbeing.”

I like to think of self-love as having an unshakeable, loving relationship with yourself.

One where you:

✨ have your own back

✨ recognize your needs matter just as much as anyone else’s and then get those needs met

✨ grok your inherent worthiness (meaning you don’t have to do anything to somehow earn that worthiness) deep in your bones, and

✨ accept failures, setbacks, imperfections, and all the messiness that comes with being human

✨ treat yourself with the same kindness, compassion, and grace you would any other loved one

It’s less about navel-gazing or looking in the mirror and more about doubling down with grit and scrappiness when life decides to life.

It’s:

🥰 how you talk to yourself

💖 staying true to your desires and values

😍 trusting yourself no matter what

💗 maintaining healthy boundaries

🤩 putting your needs towards the top of your to-do list

💞 being your own BFF

Self-love is a choice you make again and again.

It’s also the opposite of selfish even though we’re told differently.

Loving yourself means you’re able to show up in all the ways you want to show up for others…how you parent, in your relationships, how you lead, etc.

That all sounds wonderful but…

Why is it so hard to love ourselves?

Simply put, we’re not taught how to love ourselves or that it’s even safe to love ourselves.

In fact, we’re told over and over that it’s selfish to focus on yourself.

That you’re somehow arrogant if you have high self-esteem.

Striving and ambition and being busy, busy, busy is celebrated while our emotional wellness takes a back seat until one day, we wonder who the hell we even are anymore.

Being a Gen-X woman (like myself) on top of it? The generation raised being expected to do and “have it all”?

Yeah…we’re pretty screwed when it comes to the self-love game, lol.

BUT that doesn’t mean we can’t shift the paradigm within ourselves and give a rebellious middle finger to anything and everything that tells us it’s somehow wrong for loving ourselves too.

Create your “Things I Love About Myself” list

Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will your list BUT that doesn’t mean you can’t get started and add on to it whenever you think of a new one and trust me…

…when you get in the habit of being the person who loves her damn self?

Your list can’t help but grow!

I always say, start where you are. Maybe today you can think of 5.

Let that be more than plenty and good enough.

There is no prize for how quickly you grow your list.

So take a deep breath, grab your emotional support water bottle and a pen and paper (or google doc like me), set a timer for 10-15 minutes, and just…begin.

Silly, small, deep, mundane, earth-shattering…they all matter and amount to YOU being the woman who loves herself.

My self-love journey and things I love about myself

I literally hated myself for decades and you’d never have guessed.

I seemingly “had it all” – solid marriage, a good career with a hefty paycheck, nice home, fun vacations, well-rounded kiddos, and I smiled and laughed easily.

Loving myself felt so outside the realm of possibilities that I didn’t even think about it until I had my rock bottom moment in 2015 when almost everything was stripped away from me – including my ego – and I was left raw, vulnerable, and questioning everything.

For whatever reason, I decided to approach “fixing” myself differently than I’d ever tried before.

Loathing only made me miserable so I wondered, what would love choose?

Even though I didn’t love myself yet.

Even though I didn’t see a path to loving myself.

I had the love of my husband and children and if they could love me, I hypothesized that maybe, eventually, I could love myself too.

Loving myself didn’t happen overnight but it DID happen and that’s what matters.

Self-love is a journey, not a destination

I started small but I kept at it and my list grew over time and is still growing.

Feel free to use any of mine as an inspiration point to help start your own!

In no specific order, here are mine:

1. I am so full of gumption, grit, and determination. I go after what I want no matter how long it takes to get it
2. I am adventurous
3. I love my nose…it’s adorable
4. My feet are adorable too
5. I am generous
6. I have a wicked and naughty sense of humor
7. I am so so good at helping others plan their work and get shit done. Stupidly good
8. I know how to relax with the best of them
9. I love my neurospicy brain. Sure…it sometimes frustrates me but it’s one of my greatest gifts
10. I know that I have a positive impact on those around me
11. I am an amazing listener
12. I love my lips. I used to hate them but they’re pretty gorgeous
13. I’ve had so many cool experiences
14. I’m a voracious reader and especially love psychological thrillers and super spicy smut
15. I’m fun to be around
16. I create wonderful experiences for my loved ones
17. I’m committed to my relationship with myself
18. I love to dance
19. I’m continually delighted by small and simple pleasures
20. I’ve done the work to love myself and my life and it shows
21. I believe almost anything is possible for me
22. I love my family deeply
23. I’m good at keeping healthy boundaries
24. I love my vision for my life
25. I work very hard not to get overwhelmed but instead, keep a cool head and take my next best step
26. I am deeply content
27. I absolutely love what I do for work
28. I’m a wonderful mentor
29. I love making people laugh
30. I own when I’ve been the asshole and apologize accordingly
31. I’m great at solving problems and seeing the bigger picture
32. I have a HUGE heart
33. I’m super non-judgmental
34. I love sharing my stories to help others heal
35. I go through tough times while maintaining a loving relationship with myself
36. I know how to manage my mind and the inner critic
37. I have a zest and passion for life
38. I thrive on new experiences
39. I appreciate the little things
40. I love my grey eyes
41. Speaking of grey…I LOVE my zebra glitter hair (grey, silver, white, dark brown)
42. I adore my quirks
43. I’m so good at getting my needs met
44. I love getting older…I’m not afraid to age because I know I have so much GOOD in front of me yet
45. I’m a late-bloomer. I’m 53 and just getting started
46. I give super helpful advice and don’t make it mean anything about me if the person doesn’t take it
47. I love being silly and goofing around
48. I’m all-in on making my dreams come true no matter how long they take
49. I healed most of my childhood ish
50. I’m committed to showing up as my favorite self
51. I love learning new things
52. I’m very curious and always questioning why so I can understand better
53. I’m unapologetically me (except when I’ve been the asshole…then I apologize and work to do better)
54. I am committed to my own growth and development
55. I am resilient
56. I’m wildly independent (and stubborn lol)
57. I LOVE that I’m not afraid to take risks or face my fears
58. I don’t mind spending time with myself. In fact, it’s a necessity
59. I’m a kid at heart…I don’t ever want to grow up
60. I’m fairly easygoing and love going with the flow
61. I make decisions like a BOSS
62. I wear my heart on my sleeve
63. I’m a warrior survivor and generational trauma cycle-breaker
64. I love to sing, often badly
65. I can hyper-focus and get shit done
66. I love my awkwardness…it’s charming and mostly adorable
67. I have super cool, imaginative dreams
68. My big, infectious laugh
69. My sneezes can either be adorable OR make you leak a little
70. My reaction is absolutely hilarious when someone tries to scare me
71. I focus on my strengths instead of my weaknesses
72. I take my mental health and emotional wellbeing a top priority
73. My big, beautiful smile…I light up a room
74. The ability to laugh at myself and life’s sometimes fuckedupedness
75. I value experiences over things
76. That ‘fuck’ is one of my very favorite words and I use it creatively
77. My entrepreneurial spirit
78. All the small things I’m deeply grateful for in my life
79. I show up
80. I do this goofy dance thing that delights my husband to no end and that delights me
81. I’m not afraid to face my fears and challenge myself to heal and grow
82. I fight for what’s important to me
83. I can hack my way through website design and copy like no one’s business
84. I’m a decent cook and have a few stand-out dishes
85. I’m an adrenaline junkie!!!!!
86. I even love when I’m a bit of a prickly pear. All it means is I need some time to myself and there’s nothing wrong with that
87. I try even when it’s not something I’m super comfortable with
88. I love all my imperfections
89. I’m not afraid to “do the work” to heal my ish
90. I think farts are super funny and I’m a champion farter
91. I’m not afraid to voice my opinion
92. I have an absolutely awful sense of direction and fully own that
93. My wrinkles. I’ve more than earned them
94. My ability to pick up new tech right away
95. My intuition game is STRONG
96. My many many dichotomies and things that don’t seemingly go together but make me wholly me
97. That I no longer feel broken because I did the work to heal
98. My ability to see the brilliance in someone else and help hold a mirror so they can see their own brilliance
99. My ability to hold the safest of spaces
100. Being confident in the value I bring
101. I love that I love bigfoot erotica

What’s next?

There’s no one right way to practice self-love but here are some ideas for you:

🤗 Create your list – no matter how big or small – and start your day by looking at your list of things to love about yourself every day and ask yourself, “How do I want to feel today?”

🤗 better yet….read them out loud (you can also record yourself into your phone and then play that each day)

🤗 create a Pinterest board for inspiration and look at it often

🤗 write a few on your bathroom mirror or sticky notes around your workspace

🤗 get in the habit of just being the person who loves her damn self no matter if you feel it that day or not

And if you’re ready for that rebellious, paradigm-shifting middle finger and would love support to help you create an unshakeable, rock-solid relationship with yourself full of things to love about yourself every day, explore my self-love coaching!

You, as much as anyone else, deserve your love.