How to Live Your Best Life: A Proven 4-Step Framework for Faster Success

The best way to prepare for death is to live life to its fullest. ~ John Bytheway

No matter what’s transpired in your past or how old you are…

⋙ What does it mean to live your best life?

⋙ How do you ensure you live your life with purpose and intention?

⋙ What does it look like to live your life to the fullest?

⋙ How do you make your second half even better than your first?

⋙ What life lessons in your 40s and beyond can help you be successful and fulfilled as you enter your second half of life?

⋙ Can you start over after 40 if that’s exactly what you want to do? (HINT: The answer is definitively yes if that’s really really what you want.)

⋙ What if I don’t know what I even want?

Over and over, these are questions clients have asked me in their initial calls.

I mean…hell, I’ve had these questions myself in the past.

And as I’ve done my own work to find myself in midlife and heal my childhood shit and worked with clients through the years, I’ve created a framework that provides the container and steps within for moving and iterating through the work.

I’ve lovingly titled it The SELF Approach™

A proven and valuable framework for helping people move from a place of feeling unfulfilled, discontented, both under- and overwhelmed, and questioning if this is all there ever is TO a place of living life to the fullest and with renewed purpose, passion, and intention.

Introducing, the 4-step SELF Approach™

S – Start with Desire

What possibilities exist when we approach life from a place of using our desires as our compass?

How might life open up when the quest of feeling good is the goal in spite of life’s inherent 33/33/33 (33% amazing, 33% meh, and 33% downright shitty)?

Said in my best Lucifer voice, “What is it you truly desire?”.

Because when we start there and define our desires with intentional and inspired specificity, the universe starts helping guide us to it.

And when we reorient to those desires often (I aim for daily but weekly at the very least)- even in the shitty hard times? Magic.

No matter what “problems” my clients come to me with to begin our relationship together, we always start with their core desires;

What will make their life well lived and loved regardless of what happened yesterday or in childhood or anytime in their past?

This is just the start of how to live your life with purpose. To live your life to the fullest.

This is exactly where I started when I turned my life around in my 40s.

⋙ Who do you want to be?

⋙ How do you want to show up in the world?

⋙ What matters most to you and how do you get more of it?

⋙ How do you want to feel?

⋙ What do you hold near and dear?

⋙ What are your non-negotiables?

Take a deeper dive

✨ What Do You Desire? 5 Steps For Unlocking Your Core Desired Feelings

✨ A Love Letter of Sorts…Becoming the After and How You Can Get There Faster

✨ 7 Steps for How to Plan Your Life for the Future & Put Yourself First

✨ Imagine Your Future Self to Help Make Better Choices

✨ 3 Ways To Connect With Your Future Self To Help You In The Here and Now

✨ Start With the End in Mind to Become Your Future Self

✨ The Wisdom of My #1 Mentor – My Future Self

Better yet 👇🏼

E – Evaluate the “Data”

Having gone through Start with Desire, you now have loads and loads of data and clues at your fingertips.

And we did it from a future-focused place because you can’t undo the past.

Yes, you can and absolutely should do work to heal your past but we don’t need to stay there…living there and having it influence our every move and what we should do…who we should be.

When I have sticky stuff still lingering from my past, I love to get super curious and ask thought-provoking questions that quickly help me uncover exactly what’s holding me back and getting in my way so that I can create specific plans to address it.

It’s all just data.

Emotional objectivity, FTW!

This is where we put on our detective hats, don our magnifying glasses, and rifle through what’s been uncovered.

⋙ What is yours to own?

⋙ What is outside of your control?

⋙ What do you make it mean about you as an inherently worthy human being?

⋙ What are you ready to tackle head-on with the confidence of a mediocre white dude?

It literally is just data. It’s evidence. Nothing more; nothing less. 

It’s all about gathering awareness (data) and figuring out your next steps with that awareness.

With awareness comes intentional choice.

Take a deeper dive

✨ 6 Ways to Deal with Your Emotional Baggage and Step Into the Life You Really Want

✨ How to Really Be Yourself and Not Apologize For It

L – Love Your Way Through Action

Don’t want to be Captain Obvious here but…

If nothing changes, nothing changes.

Action is the entire name of the game here when it comes to living and loving the hell out of yourself and your life.

We can’t think our way to the other side. It’s literally impossible.

Instead, we can put our brave pants on in 5-second increments and “do the work”.

We can take teeny tiny actions, partner with our brain even when it’s being a bit of a dick, and we can do it over and over until we’re living and loving the absolute hell out of ourselves and our lives.

I cannot stress the importance of intentional action enough.

Does it take commitment? Absolutely. AND you’re worth the commitment.

The work is believing you are deep in your bones.

I’m a corporate project manager by trade and I can’t help but go to the end game (your future self) and work backward until I’ve identified and prioritized actions I can start taking TODAY to move the needle forward.

I’m here if you need support because this is too important to go at it yourself if what you’ve been doing isn’t working.

Take a deeper dive

✨ “Do the work”

F – Future Self Becomes Reality

This is my fave step of all!!!!! This is where doing all that work – starting with desire, evaluating the data, and taking intentional action culminates in you falling in love with yourself and your life.

You literally can’t help it when you apply the core principles of The SELF Approach™ below.

Take a deeper dive

✨What Are The Keys to Living A Deeply Fulfilling Life

✨ How Do You Love Your Damn Self?

✨ How Do You Love Your Damn Life?

And finally…the core of The SELF Approach™

Self-kindness, compassion, worthiness, awareness, friendship, love, respect.

We bring all the “selfs” into this container.

Everything except self-loathing because hating yourself to better is an instant recipe for failure.

We treat ourselves as we would a beloved friend or child.

We have our own backs.

We learn how to have unyielding trust in ourselves.

The work becomes nurturing, joyful, pleasurable, and affirming EVEN WHEN IT FEELS REALLY FUCKING HARD.

Because it absolutely is hard sometimes. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it and they’re not.

This is how we get shit done. We don’t sugar-coat or fake positivity or spiritually bypass or gaslight ourselves but instead, get real and raw and vulnerable and down-and-dirty and roll up our sleeves and do the damn work. You put on your cape and become the hero of your story.

When you work with me in this container, you are never alone. I always have your back and hold your dreams and beliefs if/when you falter.

Take a deeper dive

✨ 5 Self Compassion Activities to Help You Cut Yourself Some Slack

✨ How to Thrive & Stop Getting in Your Own Way

✨ 6 Ways to Deal with Your Emotional Baggage and Step Into the Life You Really Want

✨ 8 Ways Successful Women Think Differently (& How You Can Too)

It’s never too late and you’re never too old to live your best life

But it is time to get started. I’m here if you’re ready.