Coaching & Consulting
for gutsy, determined women tired AF by the status quo & ready to give themselves unapologetic permission to do whatever TF it takes to make their Bold AF Goals INEVITABLE so they can go from a 'good' life to A Fuck Yeah Life

⚠️ Warning: I brainwash brilliant women into deeply loving & believing in themselves and their ability to do anything they set their minds to SO MUCH that taking bold & courageous action becomes a no-brainer. Combine that with my 30+ years as a strategic project manager and you can't help but make your Bold AF Goals a reality so buckle up! ⚠️

I'm Jen Vertanen

Hey hey!

FREE Guide

If you have the time, space, and resources in your life, here are some ways you can start showing up for yourself and having your own back.

Simple, not easy

I said simple – not easy. But practice these (i.e. don’t set yourself up for failure thinking you’re going to knock this out of the ballpark on try #1 or even try #100) over and over until it feels like second nature and I promise, cross my heart hope to die, give you my firstborn who is now 32 and a strapping gentleman that this will work for you.

Showing up for yourself and having your own back is absolutely possible and you do hard things all the time. You can do this too.

Put yourself first sometimes

Put your needs above others at least some of the time. I said what I said. Getting your needs met helps you be the person you want to be for others. Not sure what your needs are beyond food, water, and shelter? Let’s talk.

Practice self-acceptance

Accept where you are in life without judgment. You can’t undo the past and the future is waiting to be written. Easier said than done, I know, but something to practice over and over until it becomes second nature. 

Build a healthy relationship with your inner mean girl

Pay attention to your inner mean girl and the way she talks to you.

Create a relationship with her…one that has boundaries and doesn’t engage unless she’s able to tell you what she needs respectfully.

Our inner mean girl has developed over time with many different voices (hello, 3rd-grade teacher who hated me!) and experiences but her primary goal? To keep you safe. Let her know you understand her fear and you’ve got her back…she doesn’t need to be so afraid.

You’re pretty fricking awesome…

Find ways to remind yourself often how goddamn brilliant you are and how far you’ve come. Flood your brain with evidence of your awesomeness because I guarantee it’s there when you intentionally look for it. This will feel weird at first but like anything else, gets easier with practice.

Practice gratitude in a non-toxic positivity way

Always practice gratitude even when (especially when?) you’re feeling ungrateful. There is always at least 3 things in your life to feel grateful for at any given moment. This isn’t about toxic positivity bullshit but is about recognizing and owning your privilege.

Make yourself a priority

Make yourself a priority. Find time to do things that energize and delight you…even when life feels extra chaotic.

Buy yourself a dad joke book and read it while you poop. Bam – time to laugh.

My point? Don’t overcomplicate what this should look like. Anything that makes you feel good inside whether you do it for 1 min or 100 mins is making yourself a priority.

Commit to yourself

Commit to yourself over and over again…every day. Choose yourself. Build trust in yourself that you will always have your best interests at heart. 

Self-deprecating is funny until it’s unkind

Check your self-deprecating humor. There’s funny self-deprecating and then there’s unkind self-deprecating. Choose the funny + keep an eye out for the unkind and try your damnedest NOT to be unkind to yourself – especially in front of others.

Forgive yourself

Forgive yourself daily. Multiple times if you need to. You are just as worthy and deserving of kindness and compassion as the next person. Apologize when you’re the asshole, try not to be the asshole again, and move on.

Boundaries, baby!

Set and maintain boundaries that are kind and respectful. It’s ok if others don’t like them…they don’t need to.

You have no obligation to say yes when you mean HELL NO, turn yourself inside out to the detriment of your own wellbeing, or bend yourself backward, ass over tea kettle, to make someone happy or like you.

Feeling guilty? Evaluate the boundary and see if it’s still one you want to keep and if so, do the work to ditch the guilt. It’s not worth it.

Spend your time wisely

Take a look at where you’re spending your time day-to-day and then see if it aligns with your core values and principles.

If not, figure out what needs to be adjusted.

To repeat – simple, not easy

I’ll repeat what I said above; these are simple steps but not always easy. But just because something’s not easy doesn’t mean we throw in the towel and say fuck it – I’ll just do the same old same old and be secretly wondering about how I can run away from my life.

That’s not what you really want. Create a relationship with yourself that has you looking in the mirror staring back at a best friend instead of a stranger. 

Not only love but LIKE yourself.

Have your own back. Model this for others and watch them blossom too.

Altruism FTW.

Show up for yourself, have your own back, and watch how you blossom into the person who just naturally is her own best friend.

11 Simple Steps to Show Up for Yourself and Have Your Own Back

jen v. xo

Hey there! I'm Jen

I'm a magical mix of coach, mentor, consultant, wing woman, & slightly annoying cheerleader with 30+ years experience as a strategic project manager  who can help YOU make your Bold AF Goals INEVITABLE

When I say I've got you...I'VE LEGIT GOT YOU.

Epic shit happens when we work together whether it's delivering multi-million dollar projects, writing your first or next novel, reinventing yourself after divorce, creating the next must have app, getting the promotion, going back to school, starting the non-profit, or whatever epic shit YOU want to do.

What you learn extends well beyond the bounds of us working together. You will know how to make your Bold AF Goals a reality for the rest of your life.

I know exactly when to...

give you a swift kick in the ass and/or nudge you forward (you always decide how hard)

give you a helping hand to get to the other side without much gnashing of teeth and pulling your hair out

walk beside you - reminding you of the absolute badass you are and that you've absolutely got this

give you encouraging words in a non-blowing smoke up your ass way and funny memes...always funny memes (you decide how inappropriate because trust my friends, I can go there)

help you learn how to celebrate the hell out of yourself (none of that self-deprecating shit no matter how funny it is) with every action - tiny or GINORMOUS - don't matter

what'cha waiting for?

Let's fucking go

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© 2024 Jen Vertanen & A Fuck Yeah Life