Life Design Coach and creator of The SELF Approach™

This is my corner of the web where I share unfiltered advice, practical tools, and laughter at life's sometimes fuckedupedness - all meant to help you live & love the absolute hell out of yourself and your life.

I'm Jen Vertanen

Hey hey!

An older woman in a swim suit standing on a beach with a giant flamingo floaty around her middles and an orange circle with the words Love The Person You Want to Become

Love the Person You Want to Be – Your Future Self

The only way one can live a life full of fulfillment and deep contentment is to fully love oneself.

✨ The good, the bad, and the downright ugly. Warts and all.

✨ Even when you’ve been the asshole.

✨ Especially when you’ve acted out of integrity.

And this is what scares people away from doing the work because it feels so foreign to so many of us

It’s easy to love our children, our friends, our partners…

But love ourselves? Blasphemous lol.

That’s exactly where your future, best version of yourself comes in.

“I didn’t become better because I loved who I was. I became better because I fell in love with who I wanted to be/who I could be. And I pursued that relentlessly.” ~

Start With the End In Mind

Create a vision for your best, wisest, coolest, badassest (you get my drift) future self.

Seriously, click that link ^^^ because it walks you through exactly how to do this in a way that’s enjoyable + actionable.

Get To Know That Person (You)

How would they make this decision?

Who would they be spending their time with?

What thoughts would be going through their head that are kind, helpful, and respectful?

How would they show themselves love…the same level of love they freely give others?

What advice would they have for their younger selves?

How do they ensure their needs are being met?

What do they do each day to make sure they remain deeply fulfilled and content?

These Are Your Clues

These are your exact clues for what to bring into your life TODAY. To move today you closer and closer to that vision of your best future self.

Because that vision is absolutely you. You’re just not there yet.

But with intentional, thoughtful, purposeful action you absolutely can transform your life and your relationship with yourself.

This is how you create a loving, kind, and hella productive relationship…one of a trusted mentor.

You do it step by step, teeny tiny action by teeny tiny action.

You do the work and you can’t help but love yourself and your life.

It’s Ok If You’re Not There Yet

We don’t tell a baby to suck it up buttercup and learn to walk without falling down or else…

So don’t do that to yourself either.

We all start somewhere and I’d like to offer up that your someday can be today.

You Get To Be Who You Want To Be; Everyone Else Can Fuck Right Off

Seriously. I know it’s hard. I know you’re going to have to work at it before it feels natural.

No, it doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a person who is putting themselves first for perhaps the first time ever.

Not everyone is going to be kind and respectful…not everyone will understand or want to be your friend. Not everyone will support you.

Expect this and don’t be disappointed when it happens (because it absolutely will). Instead, remind yourself of the vision you’re working towards – your best future self.

Obsess Over Your Vision Of Your Best Future Self

Spend time each day – 5 minutes will do the trick! – leaning into this vision. You can do it first thing in the morning, as your winding down your day and your head hits the pillow, or over your lunch.

The actual time isn’t important…it’s the daily activity because you’re practicing and building a muscle.

As our friend, Mosab, says – be relentless.

jen v. xo

Hey there!

I'm a magical mix of coach, perspective-shifting mentor, hair-holder, consultant, wing woman, get shit done'r, silver lining finder, & slightly annoying cheerleader

I'm Jen Vertanen, Make Shit Happen Coach + creator of The Fuck Yeah Methodology

I used to roll my eyes at the notion of self love and loving my life because it felt so far outside the realm of possibilities. I thought both were saved for those who'd escaped childhood unscathed.

But a perfect storm in 2015 had me wake TF up and heal my childhood ish. Along the way, I started to not only love but LIKE myself and I stopped wanting to escape from my life and instead, intentionally create my exciting future. That's saying a lot when you read my stories!

And now? I get to help women all around the world fall in love with themselves, their lives, and create the future THEY want. How cool is that?!?

© 2024 Jen Vertanen & A Fuck Yeah Life

An ADHD &  LGBTQ woman owned business