Hey hey!

I'm Jen Vertanen - Mentor & Life Coach for unhappy-ish midlife women who are ready to take action to be their unapologetic, unstoppable, unfuckwithable selves (or as I like to say, favorite selves) and answer "What's next?" because what doesn’t become possible for you?

Stop asking if this is all there ever is and start being the woman who goes after what she truly wantsneeds so she can love the shit out of the rest of her life.

Future Self

A Fulfilling Life


Take the free quiz & discover your #1 mentor - your 80-yo future self

Figure Your Shit Out

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the things you did. ~ Mark Twain

Each of us leads a full life but…are you living a FULL life? That is the question and it’s an important one because life is too. damn. short. AMIRIGHT?!

A life that is full of happiness, contentment, fulfillment, satisfaction, whatever else you want your FULL life to be?

✨ If it feels like life is passing you by…

✨ You find yourself questioning if this is all there ever is…

✨ You go to bed each night kind of dreading the thought of doing it all over again tomorrow…

A) you’re sadly not alone (this used to be me too) and B) it’s not too friggin’ late to do something about it! I promise.

We longingly peer, from the outside looking in, at the person who seemingly has their shit together and is living a balanced life full of joy and happiness, acts of service, meaning, and purpose.

We don’t know if they truly have their shit together but it sure does look nice and makes us question why can’t we have that…what’s so wrong with us?

Ah…there it is. The inner mean girl that has nothing nice to say and makes you believe something is inherently wrong with you.

It happens to the best of us for a myriad of life fuckery reasons. It’s not good, bad right, or wrong…it just…is.

What does it mean to live life to the FULLest?

I can’t answer that specifically for you because it’s so unique to each one of us but what I can do is guide you toward defining it for yourself because once you create a detailed vision, the action almost takes itself.

For one it might mean changing careers so their work feels more meaningful and impactful. For another, it might look like setting boundaries to protect your mental well-being.

For me, it looked like healing my childhood traumas and dealing with all the baggage I was carrying around including a big chip on my shoulder that screamed, “I don’t need anyone!!!!!”.

For one client, it meant saying NO to offers to socialize outside of work, and for another, it meant saying YES.

Do I believe you have to have meaning and purpose to live a FULL life? No – I don’t believe you have to do anything BUT if you find yourself daydreaming about having big impacts on the world?

It’s a clue and the fastest way to figure your shit out is by being aware and looking for the clues and then doing something with them.

What happens when we don’t live our FULL life?

Discontent. Dissatisfaction. Complacency. Negative impacts on our emotional, physical, and mental well-being. Boredom. Numbing and over-everything-ing in all sorts of unhealthy ways. Feeling stagnant. Going through the motions. Resentful. Ungrateful.

IYKYK. This was me up until I figured my own shit out in 2015. I get it.

But that’s why you’re here. Because you’re NOT settling for a life full of stuff that doesn’t light you up or worse yet, drags you down. You’re NOT allowing yourself to feel complacent

Living a FULL life is literally crucial to our well-being

So what can you do about it?

Start with the end in mind

My very fave exercise (and one you can access for FREE here) is to envision myself at age 80. I’m happy, content, fulfilled, still laughing at inappropriate jokes for which I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell over, and feel connected, vibrant, and alive.

My 80-yo future self had all the answers for me on how today me could live my life to the FULLest.

My 80-yo self didn’t wear pants that fit uncomfortably snugly because she’d gained a bit of weight.

She didn’t sit around moping when no one invited her to get out.

She wasn’t done learning and growing as a human being.

She didn’t worry about what Nosy Maria was saying about her.

She sure as shit didn’t concern herself with drama and toxicity and people that pushed her boundaries constantly.

She will tell you exactly what’s most important to you.

I take my relationship with her seriously and consult her all the time on decisions big and small. She has no problem giving me a swift kick in the ass if I’m feeling bored or complacent for too long.

I’ve written extensively on how to tap into her…there’s this post and this one that seems to be faves amongst readers and you can explore the full category here.

“Do the work” (as I like to say) and connect with your 80-yo future self. She is NOT messing around when it comes to her contentment & fulfillment and she is going to be hella pissed at you if you’re not taking it seriously.

Because if nothing changes, nothing changes.


Practice radical fucking gratitude

Seriously. Sure – practice gratitude around big things but the magic happens when you express it around the little, mundane details of your life.

The details matter…they make up the moments of your life and if you’re just going through the motions not thinking much about anything at all except having to do it all over again tomorrow… a surefire way to be discontent.

Figure your shit out

Tough love. I know. I know it’s hard to hear and I know you’re doing the best you can AND I believe you have everything inside of you to figure out how to live and love your best self & life.

This might look like sorting through your emotional baggage and Marie Kondo-ing that shit.

It might look like holding the proverbial mirror up and getting honest about where you might be the problem (I was).

You might need to leave toxic relationships. Set and maintain boundaries. Get outside your comfort zone. Be honest about all the ways you’ve been holding yourself back.

It might look like hiring a coach for 1:1 support to be your coach, mentor, hair-holder, and cheerleader. Oh hi…it’s me lol.

You might need a therapist’s couch to deal with your big T and little t traumas.

I can’t tell you exactly what you need but I can say believe in yourself enough to “do the work” to figure your shit out.

It’s worthwhile…I promise. I can’t even begin to describe in words the night and day difference I feel inside and out from figuring my shit out.

Bottom line

Life is too damn short so leave nothing on the table as you live and love yourself and your life.

Does it take dedication and practice? Yup. But you do hard things all the time. You’ve got this and I’m here if you need support.

How Full Is Your Life & Is It FULL Of What Is Most Meaningful To You?

Download this FREE non-woo guided visualization and workbook to help you be well on your way to becoming your favorite self and answering "who the hell even am I?" by tapping into the wisdom of your best 80-yo future self who is NOT messing around when it comes to her happiness & fulfillment

© 2023 A socially Awkward Since 1970 Production

disclaimer | terms & conditions | privacy policy

Loving this post and think it might be your time? Let's hop on a free 30-ish min call to see if we can get you there faster.