Life Design Coach and creator of The SELF Approach™

This is my corner of the web where I share unfiltered advice, practical tools, and laughter at life's sometimes fuckedupedness - all meant to help you live & love the absolute hell out of yourself and your life.

I'm Jen Vertanen

Hey hey!

A funny older woman standing on a beach with a flamingo floatie and an orange circle with the words The Keys To A Deeply Fulfilling Life with Life Design Coach Jen Vertanen

What Are The Keys To Living A Deeply Fulfilling Life?

tl;dr

  1. With specificity, define your version of a fulfilling life
  2. Use this specificity to find ways to make your day-to-day life more fulfilling
  3. Live with intentionality, at least most days

In no way am I going to pretend I have all the answers or that I have the answers for YOU…because I don’t.

But what I do have is lived experience through my own journey…one that takes me from decades of self-loathing to living & loving the hell out of myself and my life.

And perhaps your story goes a bit like mine…

✅ you’ve checked all the boxes and done everything “right”

✅ appear to “have it all” but inside, wonder, “Is this really all there ever is…” and “Who the hell even am I anymore?”.

Let’s talk about the keys to living a deeply fulfilling life

A deeply fulfilling life. What does it specifically mean and look like FOR YOU?

Not your mom. Not your partner. Not your BFF. And sure as hell, not Nosy Nancy who always tries to be up in your business.

But you. This is key #1.

You’re the star here where your life’s happiness and contentment matter just as much as anyone else’s.

Have you really stopped and thought about it much?

Or are you:

😱 going through your days on auto-pilot

😱 feeling a bit burnt-out

😱 over & underwhelmed

😱 itching for more (excitement, passion, adventure, meaning, happiness, whathaveyou)

😱 thinking of ways to quietly escape into the night except you wouldn’t really do that because you’re a responsible adult and all

Read on. I’ve got you.

So let’s talk about Bruno…I mean…let’s talk about what fulfillment looks like for you

If you’re in that space of overwhelm, I get it.

Finding brain energy to even think about what a fulfilling life looks like and means for you feels like one👏🏼more👏🏼thing👏🏼 on your never-ending list of things that need your attention.

I get it AND if nothing changes, nothing changes AND my guess is your tendency will be to overthink this which is exactly what’s getting in your way.

So we’re going to stop that shit and break it down into something that feels tangible, fun, and gives you enough “data” to get pointed in the right direction i.e. living your more fulfilling life.

What is a fulfilling life anyway?

Let’s be honest…fulfillment can literally mean anything which is why it can feel so elusive until you define it for yourself.

For me, living a fulfilling life means I have more of what I want and less of what I don’t.

✨ I feel like my life has meaning and purpose

✨ I allow for the full range of human emotions but I especially love joy and contentment

✨ I feel ALIVE!

✨ I live my values of connection, adventure, freedom, etc.

✨ I love on my people hard

And when I don’t feel these things? My work is to bring myself and my life back into alignment.

Because living a fulfilling life is hella important to me.

DO THIS ==> Set a timer for 5-10 minutes and stream-of-conscious write out what you think your fulfilling life looks and feels like. For each item on your list, ask yourself “But why?” and keep asking until you get a zing through your body…that’s when you know you’ve landed on that “something specific” for YOU.

Continuing to find clues to your fulfillment

Think about times in your life when you felt & embodied that fulfillment; when you felt so goddamn alive it almost hurt.

For me, it came one day as I was atv’ing through stunningly gorgeous western Montana. I was dusty, dirty, wind-burnt, hair a mess, and my cheeks hurting from smiling so hard for so long.

Jen Vertanen smiling with a face full of dust and dirt after ATV'ing in Montana

Occasionally in life there are those moments of unutterable fulfillment which cannot be completely explained by those symbols called words. Their meanings can only be articulated by the inaudible language of the heart. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

I felt the most alive I’d ever felt. 

Until I remembered the time in Bangalore on the back of a co-worker’s motorbike.

Or my first time cantering on a horse amongst the saguaros in Arizona.

Or white-water rafting in Bali and not sure we were going to make it out alive.

Or any other adrenaline-pumping adventure I’ve had.

Clearly, I love adventure.

I can’t jet off to Bali and India and Montana every day but these moments of unutterable fulfillment? They hold many many clues for me…clues I can bring into my day-to-day life.

Because that’s the trick and key #2.

Making your day-to-day life feel good

If you’ve done your stream-of-conscious writing and thought about your unutterable moments and the commonality between them, you should have a set of clues whether that’s 5, 10, or 100.

And these clues are gooooooold.

Because now you know what living a fulfilling life exactly means and looks like for you.

Which means you can take these clues and actually do something with them.

Going back to my example…I clearly love adventure and getting dusty and dirty and stretching my body in adrenaline-pumping ways.

I might not be able to white-water raft or ATV hardly ever but I can find adventures in my own backyard

✅ like exploring the many many state parks in MN

✅ or trying the taproom that specializes in sour beers…my fave!

✅ or checking out a new to me coop and giving myself time to go up and down the aisles slowly browsing all the goodies and savoring the smells

✅ or doing yoga outside on a windy day

✅ or trying aerial yoga because hanging upside down sounds like fun and talk about getting your blood pumping!

✅ or cozying up and immersing myself with a thriller

You get my drift. There are all sorts of ways to make my life feel more fulfilling even when I’m in the sometimes mundaneness of day-to-day life.

The work becomes – what are tangible, feasible ways I can bring MORE of my fulfilling life vision into my everyday, normal life?

And then following through and doing just that.

DO THIS ==> Take your clues and think of creative ways you can bring those same feelings, experiences, etc. into your day-to-day. And then pick 2-3 and plan them into your next week.

The final key – intentional living

And that brings me to our final key, key #3 – intentionality.

I know life is busy, chaotic, stressful, and all sorts of fuckedupedness.

And I know you just want to get off the hamster wheel sometimes.

And I can’t do that for you. No one can. YOU need to decide you’re worth the effort.

Living with intention is the final key because it’s the most important.

No matter how busy our lives are, I believe each one of us can find pockets of intentionality throughout our days to check in with ourselves and ask – am I existing, OR am I living?

And then course-correct when the answer is no.

DO THIS ==> Bring up the calendar on your phone and set 3 reminders to check in with yourself throughout each day. Do this until it becomes second nature and you no longer need the reminder.

I leave you with…

What becomes possible when you believe living a fulfilling life is within you?

That you have what it takes especially when the going gets rough?

That you will have your back no matter what which means no quiet quitting on yourself.

Not ever.

No matter what.

jen v. xo

Hey there!

I'm a magical mix of coach, perspective-shifting mentor, hair-holder, consultant, wing woman, get shit done'r, silver lining finder, & slightly annoying cheerleader

I'm Jen Vertanen, Make Shit Happen Coach + creator of The Fuck Yeah Methodology

I used to roll my eyes at the notion of self love and loving my life because it felt so far outside the realm of possibilities. I thought both were saved for those who'd escaped childhood unscathed.

But a perfect storm in 2015 had me wake TF up and heal my childhood ish. Along the way, I started to not only love but LIKE myself and I stopped wanting to escape from my life and instead, intentionally create my exciting future. That's saying a lot when you read my stories!

And now? I get to help women all around the world fall in love with themselves, their lives, and create the future THEY want. How cool is that?!?

© 2024 Jen Vertanen & A Fuck Yeah Life

An ADHD &  LGBTQ woman owned business