Life Design Coach and creator of The SELF Approach™

This is my corner of the web where I share unfiltered advice, practical tools, and laughter at life's sometimes fuckedupedness - all meant to help you live & love the absolute hell out of yourself and your life.

I'm Jen Vertanen

Hey hey!

Jen Vertanen, a Life Design Coach, holding a frog. There's a yellow circle with the words A Love Letter To The Woman Quiet Quitting On Herself

A Love Letter to the Woman Who Keeps Quiet Quitting On Herself

I know far too many women who are quietly unhappy in their lives.

Who were sold a false bill of goods that said we could “have it all” but weren’t told the flip side…that we’d lose ourselves along the way.

And it’s heartbreaking to me because it doesn’t have to be this way. It’s why I do the work I do because I can absolutely help.

So I wrote a love letter because I know there’s a different way.

I see you

I see your big smile that tells the world you’re “fine”.

I sense your quiet unhappiness.

I feel your overwhelm radiating off you.

I know you are all things to all people and you take great pride in this.

It also comes at a cost.


It’s exhausting.

You’re crispy around the edges as you teeter on the edge of burn-out.

I know there are worries rattling around in that big, beautiful brain of yours that keep you up at night.

This doesn’t help with your exhaustion.

At all.

Putting yourself high on your to-do list feels…wrong.

So you don’t.

You keep on keepin’ on.

You exist.

And you know that’s not enough…you need more from your life.

As you live through Groundhog Day over and over.

Quiet quitting on yourself; not valuing YOUR needs, YOUR desires, YOUR hopes and dreams.

Doing the minimum to keep yourself living with the occasional hopeful glimmer that things could be different.

Comfortably numb.

I know what’s possible for you

I know it doesn’t have to be this way.

I know there’s a different way.

And I believe in your ability to do the work to get there.

Because you do hard things all the time.

It’s just who you are.

And I so wish I could reach through the screen and gently shake your shoulders.

Remind you that you are here to feel ALIVE!

Not just alive.

The best way to prepare for death is to live life to its fullest. ~ John Bytheway

That life is short and time is finite.

That it’s not over until it’s truly OVER.

That it’s not too late but you do kind of need to get going.

Because time only goes faster the older you get.

My invitation to a new way

One that puts joy & desire front and center.

That delves into the past just enough to understand what got you here so you can move forward faster.

Is future-focused because that’s literally the only modicum of control we have.

That requires heaping amounts of self-awareness and compassion.

A way that feels good, tangible, tactical, and full of hope & possibility.

It’s the only way I’ve found to make lasting changes stick.

It’s going to take radical honesty as you look in the mirror.

And owning all parts of you…not just the socially acceptable ones.

Where you rise from the ashes without having to burn it all down because that can be just as exhausting.

You learn to follow through, building self-trust along the way.

Having your own back.

Treating yourself as a best friend.

Where you step into a new way of being; showing up for your loved ones AND yourself.

Super strong confidence and faith in exactly who you are as a person.

And where you love your damn self.

Love yourself first, and everything else falls in line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. ~ Lucille Ball

I leave you with…

It’s time to do the work, love. I know you have it in you and I’m always here if you’d like expert support from someone who has been there, done that, and has the receipts to prove it.

The SELF Approach™ will get you there. We start with desire and end with falling batshit crazy in love with yourself and your life.

You’ve got this.

jen v. xo

Hey there!

I'm a magical mix of coach, perspective-shifting mentor, hair-holder, consultant, wing woman, get shit done'r, silver lining finder, & slightly annoying cheerleader

I'm Jen Vertanen, Make Shit Happen Coach + creator of The Fuck Yeah Methodology

I used to roll my eyes at the notion of self love and loving my life because it felt so far outside the realm of possibilities. I thought both were saved for those who'd escaped childhood unscathed.

But a perfect storm in 2015 had me wake TF up and heal my childhood ish. Along the way, I started to not only love but LIKE myself and I stopped wanting to escape from my life and instead, intentionally create my exciting future. That's saying a lot when you read my stories!

And now? I get to help women all around the world fall in love with themselves, their lives, and create the future THEY want. How cool is that?!?

© 2024 Jen Vertanen & A Fuck Yeah Life

An ADHD &  LGBTQ woman owned business