One that lights us up from the inside out.
One that has us going to sleep each night eager to do it all over again tomorrow.
One that feels as good as it looks.
One that gives us the more we want – deep contentment, holy fulfillment, and heaping piles of gratitude.
We want this not just for ourselves but for everyone around us and living our most fulfilling lives allows us to be there for others fully in the ways we want.
I don’t know about you but I lost literal decades to having a life that looked great to the outside observer but inside I felt lonely, broken, ungrateful, resentful, bitter, angry, and constantly trying to find ways to escape.
It was heartbreaking and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone except I KNOW there are millions of accomplished women suffering in silence because we were raised being told we could have it all and we’ve been killing ourselves ever since.
That’s why I do the work I do.
The concept is simple and the work is anything but. What I can guarantee you? It’s (the work) ABSOLUTELY worth it.
I’ve created a method and framework that starts with joy + delight, peppers in ease and fun, and ends with knowing that you will always have your own back and how to continually get your needs met because you are just as worthy and deserving as the next person.
The three steps are:
I’ve shared many blog posts about how to tap into the wisdom of your best 80-yo future self so I’ll list them here for your reading pleasure.
I start with creating a detailed vision of your best 80-yo future self because:
a) it’s fun to dream about the possibilities in front of you which helps you want to dig in to do more and
b) with that vision, you can create a mentorship that helps you with decisions big and small, healing your ish, and everything in between.
You can’t hate your way to healing. Trust me – I tried.
It wasn’t until I decided to approach doing the work with self-kindness, compassion, worthiness, etc. alongside the mentorship of my best possible 80-yo future self – did I start to make actual lasting changes that had deep, profound effects on the quality of my life.
Does this happen overnight? Sadly – no. Does it take patience and practice? Absolutely.
You’re building a muscle, creating new neural pathways – and that shit takes time and repetition.
Go gentle with yourself but do learn how to have your own back, to not quit on yourself and your dreams, to get your needs met, and put yourself first sometimes because you are just as worthy as anyone else.
Practice + patience.
The quality of our life (mental, physical, and emotional) is directly correlated to the quality of our relationships, including with ourselves. ~ Me
I’m a software development project manager by trade so I am ALWAYS looking for action. Strategy and planning are important but not at the sake of action which is what gets momentum turning and actual change happening.
With your best possible future self in mind and a strong, loving relationship with yourself, you can now look at the gaps between where you are and where you want to be and take action accordingly.
Not everything can be done all at once. Some gaps are more important than others. What are your non-negotiables and nice-to-haves and optionals that while nice, don’t move the needle much towards your life’s satisfaction and fulfillment?
Choose 1 or 2 and get started. Think about what might get in your way and make plans in case those circumstances come true.
Of course it’s much more nuanced and complex than I can fit in a single blog post but I want you to know:
If you’d like support doing this work, I’m always here and would love to talk about how I can support you through my 1:1 coaching.
Ready to design the future YOU want starting TODAY?
Try my unique spin on the future self exercise and see how good it can feel to "do the work"
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Stop wishing & start doing; Don't leave life to chance
Jen Vertanen is a Life Design Coach for action-takers who are ready to "do the work" to fully love their damn lives