The Cycle Breaker’s Manifesto & How to Break Free and Live Your Best Damn Life

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:00:00]: Hey. Hey, bold AF'er. Welcome to the inaugural full length episode of Living Your Best Damn Life One "Fuck yeah, I did!" At A Time. I'm your host, Jen Vertanen, and today we're diving deep into what it means to be a cycle breaker and why it is so damn important and I cannot think of a better way to kick us off. So buckle up, I'm gonna say that a lot because I'm about to get real about breaking cycles, living life on your terms, i.e. creating the life that you actually want instead of the one that you think you're supposed to have. So first, what exactly is a cycle breaker? I define a cycle breaker as someone who looks at the patterns in their family, their upbringing, or society and says, no. I'm gonna do things differently. It's a person who decides that just because something has always been done a certain way, doesn't mean it has to stay that way.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:00:59]: So maybe you're breaking the cycle of toxic relationships, dysfunctional relationships, financial struggles, unfulfilling career, addiction, people pleasing, or any other b s that's been passed down through the generations, through your lineage. So whatever it is, you have decided that the the buck, the proverbial buck stops with you. And let me tell you, that takes some serious ovaries or balls whatever anatomy you identify with. Here's the thing about being a cycle breaker though, it is not for the faint of heart. I wish it were. It's not. It is hard, like AF. Right? Think of it like trying to swim upstream against the current while everyone else is floating along in the right direction, having fun, laughing, drinking their beer, sunshine, loving life, and you're over there working your ass off trying to get anywhere.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:02:01]: It can be exhausting, frustrating, and sometimes lonely as hell. I've been there. I know. You might face resistance from family members who don't understand why you're rocking the boat. You might have friends who think you've gone off the deep end because you're no longer settling for mediocre bullshit in your life. And let's be real, your own brain is probably gonna throw a tantrum or 2 or 20 as you start changing things up because that's what your brain does. It is wired to keep you safe from the tiger lurking in the bushes. But here's the secret, my fellow rebel.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:02:42]: It is all part of the process. The discomfort, the doubt, the occasional, what the fuck am I doing moments, they're all signs that you're growing, changing, and creating a life that actually fits you instead of squeezing yourself into a life that was never meant for you in the first place. By now, you're like, this is great, Jen, but how do I actually do this cycle breaking thing? So here are some tools I've found invaluable in my own journey and in helping my clients break free from, again, whatever cycles and BS and fuckery holds them back. Number 1, awareness. You cannot change what you don't acknowledge. Start paying attention to the patterns in your life. Where are you operating on autopilot? What beliefs or behaviors have you inherited that aren't serving you? Again, you can't do this without awareness. And once you know, you can't not know.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:03:43]: It's impossible. Number 2, permission. Give yourself permission to do things differently. You don't need anyone else's approval to change your life. I know it feels like it. I know it's hard, but you are a grown ass adult, and you get to decide what is best for you. No one else walks in your shoes. No one else can do that for you.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:04:08]: Number 3. This is a big one, boundaries. Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries. This might mean saying no more often, speaking up for yourself, or distancing yourself from those toxic dysfunctional relationships, even if you really love the person. Number 4, self compassion. Breaking cycles is hard work. I don't need to belabor that. Be kind to yourself along the way.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:04:36]: You are unlearning decades of conditioning, and it's not gonna happen overnight. Thinking that it will is literally setting yourself up for failure, and we do not do that in my world. I've tried it. We're not doing it anymore. Number 5, support. So surround yourself with people who get it, who get you. Find your community of fellow cycle breakers. They're out there.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:05:02]: They will cheer you on and pick you up and even hold your hair when, you know, you blah. And finally, number 6, some mother truckin' action, because all the awareness in the world isn't gonna change a single damn thing if you don't take action. Start small if you need to, but start somewhere. So it is time time for the main event. I present to you the cycle breaker's manifesto. Yes. I created it. Yes.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:05:37]: There's a download, so you don't have to take notes. Just listen and then download, use whenever you need that that boost, that oomph of, I can do this. It's hard, but I could do this. Here we go. I choose to write my own story, not the one that was handed to me. I embrace discomfort as a sign of growth, not a reason to retreat. I give myself permission to outgrow people, situations, and versions of myself that no longer fit. I recognize that my worth is inherent, not earned through people pleasing or perfectionism.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:06:20]: I choose to prioritize my dreams and desires knowing that my success can only inspire others. I forgive myself for the times I fall back into old patterns, knowing that progress isn't linear. It's the opposite of linear. I celebrate my wins no matter how small because every single step forward counts. I trust myself to make decisions that align with my values even when they're different from what others might expect. I choose to see challenges as opportunities for growth, not roadblocks. I commit to living authentically, knowing that my truth may make others uncomfortable, and that's okay. I dare to imagine a different future for myself and future generations.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:07:17]: I choose to be the person I needed when I was younger. I embrace the power of yet. I may not have figured it all out yet, but I'm well on my way because I say so. I recognize that healing isn't just for me. It is for everyone whose life I touch. In big, in small ways, everyone I interact benefits from my healing. I commit to loving myself fiercely, knowing that self love is the foundation for all positive change. Like I said, I've created a downloadable cycle breakers manifesto for you to refer to again and again as stuff comes up, like fear, perfectionism, ego, etcetera, as you go about creating your own version of a fuck yeah life.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:08:15]: Click on the link in the show notes to download your own copy. So, dear cycle breaker, I wanna know what cycles are you in the process of breaking or are feeling called and ready to break? What is one small step you can take today to start living differently? Remember, you don't ever, ever, ever, ever have to figure it all out because you won't. You will never have it all figured out. You just need to start. Take one tiny courageous action today, then another tomorrow. And before you know it, you will look back and realize just how far you've come. When I look back on the the past 9 years of my 54 years on this planet, so not very long, in the life of Jen, I cannot believe how far I have come and how much I have to look forward to now that I am actively intentionally living my version of my best damn life. I am always orienting myself back to what I want, who I am, who I want to be, what I want true in my life.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:09:27]: So if you're ready to go all in on breaking cycles and creating your fuck yeah life, head over to jenbertinan.com/workwithme. Let's turn that someday into, fuck yeah, I did. And don't forget to join our Facebook group, do the damn thing, where you'll find a whole community of badass cycle breakers just like you. By the way, I define badass as, and you may not feel like a badass, but there are people watching you right now, watching you intentionally change your life for the better. You are a badass to them. You are helping them give themselves permission to do the same thing, so you are absolutely a badass. You don't have to feel it all the time, but I want you to start owning that. Okay? So until next time, keep being unapologetically you.

Jen V. "Live Your Best Damn Life" Coach [00:10:19]: Keep breaking those cycles, and remember, it is never too late to start living differently unless you say it is. Now go out there, make some waves, rock the boat, rock multiple boats. You are a beautiful cycle breaker. I'm so glad you're here. Bye.