Embracing Death, Grief, and Human Design with Death Doula Aypril Porter

Jen V. [00:00:05]: Welcome back, everyone. I'm thrilled to introduce my guest, April Porter, today. April and I met a number of years ago in our life coach certification training. This is the first time that we're even talking, but I'm thrilled to have you on because I've been watching your work from a distance, and I love what you do. When I was going through the loss of my mom and we knew that she had about three weeks to live, I didn't know that being a death doula was a thing. I so wish I had had someone like you to help navigate that journey because no one teaches us how to go through the death process. We're gonna talk grief and what being a death doula means, your journey with that, and then we're gonna weave in some human design because that's really, really cool. So welcome, April.

Aypril Porter [00:00:53]: Yeah. Thank you for having me. Yeah.

Jen V. [00:00:57]: So I first wanna know what brought you to becoming a death doula and offering that to others because dying is not a pretty process. Dying is not

Aypril Porter [00:01:08]: a pretty process. It is not like the movies. Yeah. So I I don't have you know, a lot of people who are debt to us have had some really big personal event that has happened to them, a significant, like, significant other loss or something. And I haven't had that, but I feel like I grew up in a family who had lost a child before I was born, and they didn't talk about it. And so that grief kind of was just always there, and I felt it. And I had questions. I wanted to know who was this person.

Aypril Porter [00:01:42]: What was she like? What did she like? I had so many questions, and I felt like when I asked them, they got shut down because it was too painful. And so I learned not to ask those questions. Right. And then why don't we talk about this more? Wouldn't it be more healing if we talked about it? And so I guess I just always had a fascination with it. I loved going to cemeteries as a kid. It was, like, one of my favorite things to do. Daughter just too. Yeah.

Aypril Porter [00:02:09]: Go check out the cemeteries and read the headstones and, like, wonder who were these people? And it's just so fascinating. It's a peaceful place, and I just really enjoyed it. And then the other side of my family, I had a great grandmother who talked about death more, and she told me stories when I was, like, three or four about things that she had witnessed and what she wanted. You know? And so it was this kind of juxtaposition of, like, one side of the family doesn't talk about it, and this other part of the family does. And I guess I've just always been curious. And so it's kind of just evolved over time. And about, gosh, probably at least ten years ago, I heard of a death doula, and I was like, what is a death doula? And this sounds interesting. More.

Aypril Porter [00:02:54]: Right? And my aunt was a hospice nurse for a long time. And so, you know, I got to hear stories through her, and it just sounded like really deep, meaningful work. I didn't wanna be a nurse. I was a medical assistant before. I didn't wanna do more training and become a nurse. It just wasn't where I wanted to go. But when I found out that there was this role as a debt doula, I was like, that sounds amazing. Like, being able to support people and their families emotionally and spiritually and guide them through some of that process.

Aypril Porter [00:03:23]: And it's not like we're taking away from the role of hospice or caregivers because what we do is not medical at all.

Jen V. [00:03:32]: Right. Right. You're not ordering checks or No. You know? No. Medicine to help at the end of life be more comfortable.

Aypril Porter [00:03:41]: Exactly. But, you know, our system is overburdened, and so our hospice nurses don't get to spend the time that they wish that they could with people. And so the doula kind of comes in and is part of that role. It fills some of that that emotional support that is not always available. Yeah. And how long

Jen V. [00:04:01]: have you been doing it?

Aypril Porter [00:04:02]: I actually did training a couple years ago, and so it's been building since then. Something I wanted to do when I found out about it, but the timing just wasn't right. I just kept thinking, like, I want to do it, but it's not for me yet.

Jen V. [00:04:15]: I love what you say there, especially the word yet. It's not for me yet because that opened up the possibility that someday it very well could be for you. And that's so much of the work I do is, like, stay in that possibility. I don't know yet. Right? It's not the right time yet. I love that you said that.

Aypril Porter [00:04:41]: Yeah. And, actually, the thing that kind of the catalyst for it was I have an ICF certification, and I needed to do some continuing education. So I went on the website, and I was like, wait. What is this end of life coaching certification? So I started down that, and that led me to grief coaching. And then the more I knew, the more I wanted to know. And so I went back, and I did, like, five different doula trainings.

Jen V. [00:05:03]: Oh my gosh. Yeah. Do you feel like people are becoming more and more aware of end of life and and death doula? Are we are we talking about it more? Or I know there's I'm I'm sure there is a long way to go, but do you see the tides turning? Yes. Okay.

Aypril Porter [00:05:25]: And I I think it's the same as, like, we saw with birth doulas. It's slow to get going, but then once it takes off, it really does take off. And I think, you know, where we've seen that really change is with 2020 and COVID. Mhmm. We were all forced to come face to face with death and loss and grief, and we needed support.

Jen V. [00:05:47]: Yeah.

Aypril Porter [00:05:47]: And so the death doula came in and fulfilled a lot of that role. Even from a distance, we're able to support people over the phone or over the Internet or through text. And just knowing that somebody else is there and can help support them Yeah. Yeah. When the shit hits the fan.

Jen V. [00:06:03]: What the fuck do I do? That is exactly the question I had when I got the call from my mom's doctor's office and, you know, said she had a month or two left. I'm like, what the fuck do we even do? Yeah. Nothing there is no education that prepares you for that unless you're maybe a certified dual death doula.

Aypril Porter [00:06:28]: Yeah. And, I mean, there's so much emotion around it. Right? So you're having your own experience. This is your mom. You're facing loss. You're facing, like, how do I care for this person? And on top of that, we also come face to face with all of our childhood wounds. Oh, yeah. And all of the dynamics that we grew up in that we thought we left, we're now confronted with them.

Jen V. [00:06:54]: Yeah. I don't wanna go too much into my story because that's not why we're here. But those last three weeks, I was with my mom a lot in the she was in the nursing home. I call it a very brutal experience. It was brutal. It was beautiful. It was very much both of those. But I did have a contentious relationship with my mom.

Jen V. [00:07:17]: And for, like, a day or two, I was pretty annoyed with her. I don't know why. I don't remember the specifics. But then something inside me said, this is a woman who is dying. She's scared. She's going way too soon. She has so much life left inside of her, and her body is done. How can I be a compassionate human to help her through this? I very quickly had to because I knew time was short.

Jen V. [00:07:41]: I had to, you know, shift my my myself. But I started asking her more questions about her childhood. What was her favorite candy? And I learned so much about my mom that with all the years of of shit and all of that, we hadn't taken the time to do that. And I'm like, I'm so happy it happened, and I wish it had happened sooner. So that's my story. That's what I'll share there.

Aypril Porter [00:08:06]: It's a beautiful story because I think that happens a lot. We realize what's important.

Jen V. [00:08:12]: When time is short, we realize what's important. I think until you're faced with something as monumental as loss of a loved one or a scary health diagnosis for yourself, you don't feel it in your body intellectually, and I get it. But until it's made real and then you're like, oh, shit. Yeah. Yeah. I would love to know, is there anything you know, like you said, since three or four, you have been really interested in cemeteries and death and wanting to learn more. But going through the certification, did you learn anything that surprised you? Was just like, woah. I never even thought about that.

Aypril Porter [00:08:55]: That's a good question. I might have to sit with that for a minute. Yeah. Absolutely. Before we did the life coaching training, I did nutrition, and then before that, I was a medical assistant. So I've been around the medical world a fair amount and health and wellness. So there's a lot of that that was like, oh, yeah. That makes sense.

Aypril Porter [00:09:13]: Like, you know, that wasn't a surprise. But I think I think it's more of the the relationship dynamics and how so much of that comes back around. Like, we just talked about, you know, childhood wounds and and all of that stuff. I think that was more of the, like, woah. This is a huge opportunity, a huge gift if we choose to see it that way.

Jen V. [00:09:44]: Mhmm.

Aypril Porter [00:09:45]: And it's not always. I will say that. Like, some sometimes it just doesn't resolve, and that that's okay too.

Jen V. [00:09:51]: I work with people Absolutely.

Aypril Porter [00:09:52]: In that capacity too. And, you know, it's

Jen V. [00:09:57]: I

Aypril Porter [00:09:57]: guess it's just realizing that we're all just flawed humans, and we're doing the best that we can.

Jen V. [00:10:01]: How often do we have to be reminded of that? Daily. Daily. Sometimes hourly. I am doing the best I can. I am a flawed human being. How can I show myself as much grace and compassion as I would for anyone else? Exactly. A lot of my work is around people that have this vision, this desire for more. I call it world changing.

Jen V. [00:10:25]: But when I say that, it can be the small ripples. It can be the large ripples. Right? But this desire for more, but we get in our way. And you had said, I wasn't ready yet. And I would love to hear more about your personal experiences of how did you get out of your way? How did you know it was, quote, unquote, the right time?

Aypril Porter [00:10:50]: That's a good question. I think I felt a fear of death. Even though I've was always curious about it, it had this veil around it where it felt so mysterious and, like, wild and unpredictable that it was scary. Yeah. I've had instances throughout my life where I've had scary, you know, health things, and it's like, oh, that's scary.

Jen V. [00:11:20]: And Yeah. Yeah. Now what?

Aypril Porter [00:11:22]: You know? And sometimes it's like looking back. Like, when you're younger, you're like, oh, yeah. It's fine. I'll be fine. Whatever. And then you look back and you're like, oh my god. I didn't die. Yeah.

Aypril Porter [00:11:30]: You know?

Jen V. [00:11:31]: I made it better

Aypril Porter [00:11:31]: than I will die. And so then you get older and you start to realize, like, my time is actually finite, and what am I gonna do with it? Yeah. And I think I wasn't ready yet to dive into what that fear meant.

Jen V. [00:11:50]: What did you learn through the process of diving into that fear? What did you learn about yourself?

Aypril Porter [00:11:56]: I learned about trusting my intuition. About trusting myself. About quieting the noise of the world, of the commercials, of all the shit that's out there that's telling you that you're gonna die, you're unhealthy, you have all these problems. Mhmm. Because it's easy when you go into a depleted state to feel like, oh my gosh. What's next? Am I going to get the next thing? And then is that gonna take me out? But when we stop and we, like, come back to our bodies and we really focus on, like, what is true for me, and how does this body actually feel? What is happening in my body? Because my body is different than all the other millions of bodies that are out there. And trusting that, that's that's the gift that I found in it. It was, like, really being able to trust myself and to quiet the noise.

Aypril Porter [00:12:48]: I love that.

Jen V. [00:12:50]: I was sharing that there is pre 45 year old Jen and there is post 45 year old Jen. And pre 45 year old Jen, which was in 2015, I had a big ego. Right? I thought I could trust my decision making and trust the actions I took and trust my feelings. And I had a couple of big things happen that completely made that trust go away. So my work has been building that self trust. And I love that you're sharing that because that to me is such a key critical ingredient in being able to say what is for me in this life and what isn't for me in this life. Right? I don't think I'm alone in fooling myself that I thought I had it. Mhmm.

Jen V. [00:13:40]: Right? Until something happened and you're like, oh, shit. Like, that was ego the whole damn time. Yeah. Now I have to rebuild. And I actually love that this happened because I got to define self trust for me. Right? Where do you see that self trust playing out? You're a couple years past the certification. You are now a fully certified death doula. But where does that self trust come up for you in other aspects of your life? It I think

Aypril Porter [00:14:11]: it comes up in all areas of life. Like, I was mentioning in health, but it can also come up in supporting a client. You know? And even making that first contact with a client sometimes, you know, like, this is a good fit or this is not a good fit. Oh, yeah. And before so let me say, human design found me in 2015, and since then, it has changed my life. And that's part of trusting my intuition too was aligning with my design and understanding that I didn't have to do things like everyone else was. But before, it felt like I had to say yes. I had to say yes to what came my way because sometimes as a projector, it feels like nothing comes your way.

Jen V. [00:14:53]: Yeah. I'm sorry.

Aypril Porter [00:14:56]: Waiting for that invitation. Yep. But I think there was this need to prove. Right? Like, I can do it, take it on, do more, do more, don't say no, do it all by myself, and that's kind of a trauma response too. Right? Like, I can't trust anyone, so I have to do it all myself. Absolutely. And so it was learning to trust myself and that I could make good decisions for myself, but also learning to trust other people.

Jen V. [00:15:19]: A %. So you had a a slightly pivotal 2015 as well. I did. I love that. I didn't know that we shared that. For those who don't know what human design even is, can you give, like, just a brief overview of what that is and then what you are and how that shows up in your life and work? Yeah. So human design is it is a system

Aypril Porter [00:15:44]: that is based off of other systems. So it's a compilation of or a synthesis of the I Ching, the Kabbalah, the chakra system, quantum physics, quantum mechanics, and astrology. So it's based on your birth date, time, and place. You plug it into a calculator. You get this chart. It looks like all these geometric shapes and lines and numbers, and you're like, what the fuck do I do with that?

Jen V. [00:16:04]: It takes a while to understand what you're actually looking at and how to digest it.

Aypril Porter [00:16:08]: Yeah. But everybody who finds human design and it's for them, it's like there's something that's drawing them to it, and they keep coming back to it. At the time, there wasn't a lot of information that was readily available. It was all it felt gate key like it was Uh-huh.

Jen V. [00:16:24]: What's the word? Gatekeep? Gatekeep? Gatekept? The gatekept? Gatekept. Yeah. They were gate keeping it. Gate keeping it. I can use it in another test. There you go.

Aypril Porter [00:16:33]: So it felt like I had to pay, and I have to do these classes so that I could get the information. And I did, but I still felt like they were speaking another language. And I'm like, what the fuck is this?

Jen V. [00:16:43]: Like, what does it all mean? I love the words, but what does it mean? Yeah. I was just talking with my daughter about that because she's very good at pulling out

Aypril Porter [00:16:50]: the meaning. Yeah. That's me. I'm like, okay. But give me the second bite. What does it mean? And then I can appreciate its beauty. Right? Yeah.

Jen V. [00:16:57]: And I kept coming back to it. Oh, it's okay. You got into human design, and then it was like, how does that what is your role and type or your lines, and how does that apply to your business and life today?

Aypril Porter [00:17:10]: Right. Okay. So human design is kind of like all the personality tests you've ever taken in your life, like, thrown into one, but even better in my opinion. Absolutely. So, like, the Enneagram and things, it's like you self Mhmm. Right? You're like, this is where I am. And right now, that's what it is, but it could change in ten years or five years or three months. The human design is based on your birth information, so it's like this energetic blueprint that you come here to live out.

Aypril Porter [00:17:34]: So my energy type is the projector. So there's five energy types, and the projector is, like, 20% of the population. And we're here to guide energy, but we have to be invited to do so. So we can come off as bossy if we see, like, what needs to be done and we just go telling people what they need to do. So then we get bitter when that happens, and it creates this whole cycle of no invitations because we're bitter and no more

Jen V. [00:17:57]: of you around. Someone who wanna invite you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I'm a manifesting generator. Okay. And my understanding of that is that I'm about oh my gosh.

Jen V. [00:18:10]: Action? Oh, you'd tell me what manifest. It's been a while since I've looked at it. I I get it, but I don't have the words for it.

Aypril Porter [00:18:17]: So you're here to respond to what life brings you like the generator, but you're also probably doing multiple things at one time. Yes. I am. And you may not finish all of those things.

Jen V. [00:18:26]: No. I do not.

Aypril Porter [00:18:27]: You just get what you need from it and then move on. But you're not designed to finish them all.

Jen V. [00:18:31]: Yeah. I love thank you for that permission. When I I was like you in that it human design was drawing me in. I was fascinated, but everything I was finding was, like, so intellectual and heady. I didn't know how to make it tactical and I love getting tactical. That is the project manager in me with thirty years of experience. And so I worked with a couple of folks a couple of years ago that really helped it become tactical. And once I had that understanding, I could relook at my chart and dive into it.

Jen V. [00:19:04]: And everything I was finding, no matter who the author of it was, if it was a blog post or a book, it's like this was written specifically for me. No wonder I'm so good at what I do. And it just helped me solidify who I am as a as a person and what my gifts are.

Aypril Porter [00:19:25]: Mhmm.

Jen V. [00:19:25]: Right? And it was like it was there all along, but diving into human design helped me, like, oh, yes. I get it. And then life just kinda took off.

Aypril Porter [00:19:37]: Yeah. It's like that tool that helps you pull off all of the layers of shit that's been piled on you in your life so that you can remember who you are. Yeah. Because we come here knowing, and then society and family and everybody, the school system, everything tells us that we have to do things differently. And so it's giving us that permission to pull all of that shit away and just remember who we are.

Jen V. [00:20:01]: Love that. So you had mentioned that you're a five two. Explain what you're a five two. What does that mean, and how do you use that in your life and business today?

Aypril Porter [00:20:11]: So the fifth line is the heretic. The second line is the hermit. What I love about the hermit is that I feel like the hermit.

Jen V. [00:20:20]: Oh, me too.

Aypril Porter [00:20:21]: I love that because there are times where I'm like, I just don't wanna be around people. And, like, before, I would have judged myself and said, but what I'm supposed to be around people. To be social. I'm supposed to go do these things, and I'm like, I don't want to. Yeah. That was a big piece for me that was really healing. I'm still trying to communicate that with people in different ways where it's like, I I just don't feel like it right now.

Jen V. [00:20:45]: Yeah. Yeah. But you don't wanna be the asshole, but you also need to protect your energy and bro and boundaries.

Aypril Porter [00:20:53]: Exactly. And I think that it was helpful for me in business because I learned I need cycles of rest. So as a projector, as a second line profile, and also a fifth line profile, I need cycles of rest. Okay. I don't get that. I burn out, and I have burned out, like, very, very badly a long time ago, but it was it was awful. Like, I couldn't get off the couch, and my kids were, like, two and four. It was it was really, really hard.

Aypril Porter [00:21:17]: Yeah. So I learned I need cycles of rest. I need to, like, push and then have a break. And it normalized that for me. And then the fifth line is the heretic. So I learned that there is this projection field that I live in, and people will project onto me what they see in me. And that may not always be based on reality. Interesting.

Aypril Porter [00:21:40]: Sometimes this is for the good. Sometimes this is not for the good. And there's this projection that the fifth line person will save the day, that they have the answers, that they're gonna rescue them. Mhmm. And so I have to be really careful. Contracts are very good and very important with the fifth line because it's very clear and stated of, like, this is what we're gonna do, and this is not what we're gonna do. So I learned that, and then also it helped me to go back through past relationships, friendships in my life that have, like, imploded, and I was left going, what happened? And, like Just happened. This person? Did did I really do the things that they're accusing me of? I don't remember this.

Aypril Porter [00:22:18]: And I just felt like I was losing my mind at a couple points. I was like, but I don't remember this this way. Like, this is not my experience of it. But they're saying that, so maybe it's true. Maybe I am an awful person. You know? Yeah. But once I realized that there's this energetic dynamic that I'm living within, I realized I it's the karmic mirror. So they see in me what needs to be healed within them at times.

Aypril Porter [00:22:43]: And then I went, oh, okay. This isn't all on me. And I'm not saying I didn't play a part in it

Jen V. [00:22:50]: because we all do

Aypril Porter [00:22:51]: a part. Yeah. You own what you own. Right. But, like, it gave me permission to stop beating myself up and looking for the problem that I couldn't find.

Jen V. [00:23:01]: Yeah. Something I say a lot, whether it's in my work, in my personal life, it's not good, bad, right, or wrong. It just is. And I think that's what human design did for me was all the things I had been raised believing were wrong with me and being told were wrong with me. I'm like, again, it was neutralizing it. It's not good,

Aypril Porter [00:23:24]: bad, or right, or wrong.

Jen V. [00:23:25]: This is who I am. How do I take this information and be the person show up as a person I want to be and that my my human design is telling me I can be? Right? Because there's also the healthy and the unhealthy in your human design and, you know, are you operating from the more unhealthy space? I think for so many years I was very much in the unhealthy space and that's become my work is how do I move into that healthy space from my relationship with myself, my relationship with others, the work that I do, how I show up every day. Yeah. I've watched your transformation

Aypril Porter [00:24:04]: over the last few years. Yeah. I'm just, like, rooting you on the whole time.

Jen V. [00:24:07]: Oh, thank you.

Aypril Porter [00:24:09]: I love it. I love it because it's like you said, the role model is the embodiment of who you are. Yeah. That's really what you're here to do is to show people how to authentically be themselves and just model that.

Jen V. [00:24:22]: And you're Yeah.

Aypril Porter [00:24:23]: Yeah. You know, back

Jen V. [00:24:23]: in 2015 when I was just being exposed to human design, I saw a role model. So I'm role model and hermit, which is a six two. The hermit I got because I'm incredibly introverted. I know I need space. I need time away from other humans, like all of that. But the role model what's interesting is in my career and even in some cases in my personal life, people look to me for that mentorship. Right? Mhmm. And I always felt like a fraud.

Jen V. [00:24:48]: I'm like, what do they see in me? Like, how can they see this in me? It's not true. And it's because I didn't feel that way inside. I felt like a fraud. I felt sad and bitter and resentful and, you know, all those things. But coming out the other side at age 54 was like, yeah, I get it. I am here to model being what being yourself can look like. Doesn't mean everyone wants it. That's okay.

Jen V. [00:25:14]: Your example is exactly what happens for the sixth line.

Aypril Porter [00:25:17]: You know, the first thirty years of their life till their first Saturn return, they're living this third line experiential learner kind of life, and it feels sometimes chaotic. It feels like I'm just trying things and they're not working,

Jen V. [00:25:29]: or sometimes

Aypril Porter [00:25:30]: they work, and I don't know why. And then they go into, like, what we call on the roof from, like, 30 to about 50. And in that time, they even go more inward, and it's, like, the time to reflect and process all that they've learned so that they can figure out what's next. And sometimes there are those cataclysmic events that are shaking your life up because something's not aligned and it's trying to put you on the right path so that when you come back off the roof around 50, you can step into that role model energy.

Jen V. [00:26:00]: Doesn't mean I have all my shit together or figured out.

Aypril Porter [00:26:03]: Yeah. It just means you're being you, and people see that, and they're like, yeah.

Jen V. [00:26:06]: I want more of that too. They can opt in or opt out. So much easier. Right? Mhmm. So for folks listening in that don't know a lick of anything about human design, I'm curious if you have a favorite resource in your learnings and an application of it. I have a book as well.

Aypril Porter [00:26:25]: Okay. Human design book, but I find that people who are not parents really benefit from it from that reparenting perspective and understanding their own childhood. So Parenting the Child You Have is my book. I also really like Karen Curry Parker's. I can't remember the title of it, but we call it the red book. It's red. Okay.

Jen V. [00:26:43]: I can look that up on Amazon and share the link to all your stuff including your book.

Aypril Porter [00:26:47]: Yeah. So I love her book, and then there's the black book of it's by Ra Uruhoo, who was the creator of human design and Linda Bonnell, and it's the I don't know that one either, but I can get you the link for it. Okay. But that's kind of, like, traditional human design. And then Karen Karen's work kinda brings it to a a little easier to understand level. I like that. Yeah. And my book is that way too.

Aypril Porter [00:27:09]: It's like a lot of examples, and I'm giving a lot of real life applications so that anybody who hadn't ever understood human design or heard of it before could pick it up and grab their chart and start to learn from it.

Jen V. [00:27:21]: I'm gonna be buying your book because even I'm I'm just I'm so I'm like a sponge. Right? I love taking all different inputs and then melding it into what do I want to take away from this. Right? Yeah. So I'm gonna buy your book and use that as one of my inputs. Because it has been like I said, things really clicked in place for me early twenty twenty four. And as a result, people have noticed. And that I feel like finally my outsides and my insides match. And I can't tell you how good that feels.

Jen V. [00:27:54]: I don't feel like a fraud anymore. I'm not bitter and resentful in trying to hide it. Like I am, you know, I am mostly happy and sometimes they're really shitty. This week was really shitty. We talked about that before we started recording, but I'm like, it's that self trust of, like, I've got my own back here before I didn't. Right?

Aypril Porter [00:28:13]: Yeah.

Jen V. [00:28:13]: Having your own back. Yeah.

Aypril Porter [00:28:15]: And, you know, I actually worked for about a year for a company doing mental health coaching, and it was very much, like, science based, only approved resources. And it was great, but I got to a point where I was like, if I could just tell people their human design, I know this is in their chart. Like, I have done enough readings with people. I understand this energy. If I could just show them this, it would give them that. Like, it's so simple because it feels like I don't need permission from anybody, but there is this permission in it to just step back and say, I don't have to do that anymore. Yeah. And when they can see that, that deconditioning goes so much faster.

Jen V. [00:28:51]: Oh my gosh. So much faster.

Aypril Porter [00:28:53]: And that's what I love about human design, and it can be applied in all areas of our life. And so even at end of life, people who have those, why did I do this? Why didn't I do this other thing? Why did I behave this way? All of those questions, we can look at a chart and it can give so much peace and understanding to the person who is at the end of life. It can give understanding to the relationship dynamics that are happening within the family at the end of life. I just find that it applies to so much. It's everything.

Jen V. [00:29:26]: You're making me want to pull my mom's chart and dive into it.

Aypril Porter [00:29:29]: Yeah. It's really Fascinating. Interesting, and it can be really healing to understand, like, oh, that conflict that I always felt, or we always push each other's buttons in a certain way. You know? You can see it in a chart. And then once you can see it, you go, it's not personal. Right. It's energetic.

Jen V. [00:29:44]: Right. It's neutral. So as we wrap up here, when you look ahead to the next year, which a timer recording is 2025, what are you excited about? What do you want to bring more of into the world or less of? And by world, I mean, you can go macro, you can might go micro. Right?

Aypril Porter [00:30:06]: Yeah. I think for a long time, I've fought putting myself in a box and being limited by things. So I'm like, I wanna do this, and I wanna do that, which is how I have, like, 2,900 certifications. Okay. But now I'm at the point where I'm like, I really just wanna focus on relationships, reparenting, human design, and that end of life work too of how do we heal and support those relationships. It comes back to that inner child work again, but surrounding it all with human design. Yeah. I love that.

Aypril Porter [00:30:38]: Like, human design's the tool. It's a resource, but it's not the only thing. It's really about the relationships and the people.

Jen V. [00:30:46]: Yeah. Well, I can't think of a I mean, there there's there's many noble professions. I feel like the work that you do is right up there. I again, having experienced my mom going through it firsthand, I was with her through a lot of it. Just seeing that dying process and what it does to the person, the relationships, the people that are coming, I almost can't think of a more noble thing to help people on that journey. Because going back to what you said around fear, like, death is scary, right, for for many people, not for all. But, you know, you don't wanna think about your own mortality.

Aypril Porter [00:31:29]: Yeah. And I feel honored when I get to support people at that time. And, you know, coming face to face with it on a more regular basis doing this work, it kind of changes the fear. You just realize that it's a part of life, and it also makes you hold every day, every moment a little more compassionately and engaged because you're like, I don't know if tomorrow is gonna be here. It makes you have more of those moments where you realize, today might be the last day. What am I gonna do with it?

Jen V. [00:32:03]: Who do I wanna make sure knows I love them? Yeah. That's what I always think about as my kids leave or I leave or my husband or we call them family, but our our friends that are basically family.

Aypril Porter [00:32:16]: Not in a way that's like, I'm afraid I'm gonna die today, but it's like Yeah. I I just want to enjoy this. I wanna be present. I wanna make it count.

Jen V. [00:32:26]: Yeah. I love that. I can't think of a better note to end on. We will, of course, have all your information in the show notes. It'll be linked in the episode for folks listening in so that you can go check out April and her work. And it's been really fun watching you on this death doula journey too. And and again, it kind of started when I was going through it with my mom. It was about three and a half years ago.

Jen V. [00:32:49]: And so I've just anytime you talk about it online, I'm so curious. And I'm like, that is amazing. That is absolutely amazing. So thank you for doing that work. Alright. We'll talk to you later. Bye.